i.e. the only humanity the N recognizes is his own
Picture the narcissist who is preening and posing in the mirror you hold up to him. Does he see you? No more than you notice a mirror as you're checking out your own reflection. Does this explain to you why he knows so little about you? Why some of the most obvious things about you seem to be missed by him? He doesn't see you....he only sees his reflection in your face. The reflection is what he is playing to. Do you imagine that the narcissist loves you? He doesn't even see you, how can he love you? You are what he decides you are. Nothing more.
Give up any delusions you may have on this. The narcissist doesn't love you. The narcissist can't love you. He has no love or regard or compassion to spare. He only spends it on himself. The narcissist is the center of all things in their perverted little minds. This makes the narcissist above everyone else. They are gods of their own making.
To really get a sense for how the narcissist perceives you, you will need to picture a tool. Let's say a hammer. The hammer has no will of its own. The hammer's value is in how it serves you. When you pick up the hammer it is like an extension of your hand. We are able to use it without regard for how it must feel when we whack a nail with it. Of course, because it has no feelings. We don't have to think about the hammer, we simply use it to our own ends and then set it down and walk away when it has performed the function we wanted it for.
You are that hammer to the narcissist. All of us are merely tools made for their use. Extensions of themselves. We are like a table or chair or bookcase or toilet paper. The narcissist will become enraged if such inanimate tools decide to sprout a mind of their own and not perform and conform perfectly to their will. It is perceived as an attack! The default setting in the mind of the narcissist toward the rest of humanity is that we are not worth anything except as they imbue value in us. Then we are worth something, but only as much as the narcissist decides. We can be completely devalued in a moment and thrown out with the rest of the garbage.
Is it any wonder why you have spent so much time feeling devalued? Have you found yourself wondering if you even have the right to exist? The narcissist has been treating you like a tool and on some level you know it. You stay in the relationship because you remember how good it felt in the beginning. All your efforts have been to get back to that feeling. Those early days when the narcissist made you feel like a million bucks. The good moments with the narcissist are harder and harder to come by. Honey, welcome to the rest of your life if you choose to stay where you are.
Quit being a tool and dump the creep.