If someone knows the difference between right and wrong but persistently chooses to do wrong, to cause harm, to injure, to kill (the body or soul), we can safely assign to that person the term evil. Because this is my blog, I'll elaborate.
The concept of evil has been around as long as humanity has. You may choose to believe it doesn't exist, but you would have to be either 1) a uniquely oblivious person or 2) evil yourself. (A convenient dodge for evil people is to do away with the term and they suddenly are free of exposure.) For the rest of you who are able to conceive that evil does exist, let's look at the concept as it relates to the malignant narcissist.
Among the various definitions of evil we find this one:
adj. : having or exerting a malignant influence
All the definitions of evil apply to the malignant narcissist, but let us focus on this one. Let's look at the word "malignant" because it is the word that is part of their official moniker, malignant narcissist. What is malignance? "Threating to life" "Highly injurious" "Disposed to do evil" "Malevolence".
We've already observed that narcissists have to have every shred of attention. What is attention but regard? Consideration? A value judgment? To withhold all attention and kindly human regard is a de valuation of you as a person. There is nothing more calculated to kill a human spirit than consistent de valuation of their humanity. This persistent behavior of the narcissist is pure malevolence. It is the "malignant" in the term malignant narcissist. I wish the psych community would dispense with the term "malignant" and come right out with it: evil narcissist.
The evil narcissist has to have it all. ("It all" refers not only to attention but to any good thing the N wants and you have.) Every bit of everything. If you have any, you must surrender it to the narcissist. If someone must have it all, then, in their minds, you must have nothing. To actively work toward the goal of depriving you of any good thing is a clear demonstration of "ill will". (The constant effort of the narcissist is to deprive you of anything that would prove your humanity which makes it easy for them to treat you like you're nothing. Not human. Therefore, you're not deserving of anything that the narcissist wants and you have.)
Another word for "ill will" is malevolent:
- Having or exhibiting ill will; wishing harm to others; malicious.
- Having an evil or harmful influence.
- Characterized by intense ill will or spite
We have seen that the malignant narcissist has an awareness of right and wrong by their many efforts to conceal their bad deeds. It is safe to assume that the narcissist has an active mindset of ill will, evil intent, malevolence toward others because of the pervasive pattern of their concealing behaviors. Do not waste your life believing the narcissist has good intentions. They are intent on having it all....that consistently translates into evil outcomes for you.
Statement of fact: the narcissist is evil. They are not poor souls who are always intending good only to have the outcome consistently end up bad for others. No, their intent is malignant. Evil. They know what is good and right and choose to do the opposite. Only when their behavior is liable to reflect poorly on them will they appear to do a good thing. But the intentions underneath are always all about them getting it all. In the dark with their vulnerable victims they reveal the truth of who they are....evil incarnate. If you've been in the dark with one of these creatures of the night then you know I have stated the truth about their evil characters.
Deny this truth at your own risk.
Anna, I have said this so many times, that the narcissist IS evil incarnate. However, there are so many who study narcissism who disagree. I know it is evil because I have been raised by one myself. And I agree, they DO know what they're doing. They are not insane. They do have the ability to turn on and off their bad behavior.
A stranger described the N's actions as "malicious intent to cause harm". That is a legal phrase. Malicious means "evil" in legalese. Intent shows conscious choice in the matter.
No mincing of words.
It is not so much, that the narcissist "is" evil, than that the narcissist "does" evil, with the intent of doing evil.
Why not say that the narcissist is evil? The answer is in the cause of narcissism - which is a very, very poor and unstable self image. The narcissist is addicted to outer signals and standards of praise to be happy.
If she/he does not get the she sees herself in a very poor way indeed, and through this horrible self image she/he reflects others - hence the lack of morality and goodness.
Now the narcissist _can_not_ be cured by signs of affection and assurance (that is what she/he is already addicted to), but perhaps by therapy and getting to the roots of the problem (usually an abusive home or something in that direction).
anon, Jan. 13, 2008,
As the bulk of the content of my blog will attest to, I do not subscribe to your view of the narcissist and his condition. You recite the "wisdom" of pop psychology which I reject because the psychological community is largely clueless on the subject of malignant narcissism. It hasn't been properly studied or analyzed in the light of the experiences of their victims. Time and time again we see the psych community completely swallowing the self-reporting of the narcissist. What do we know about all narcissists? That they LIE. Yes, the psych community is basing what they "know" about narcissism on the lies of the narcissist. As long as this kind of stupidity reigns in psychology I have no interest in their theories or suppositions on the subject. What studies have been done show that traditional psychotherapeutic devices make malignant narcissists worse . See Robert Hare, M.D.'s work for evidence of that fact.
We are what we do. If we consistently do evil...we are evil. No fancy talking around that fact will change my mind. The narcissist proves he/she is malignant, evil, by the premeditation of their acts and the fact that they are able to hide their objectionable behaviors when necessary. They only pick on people who are vulnerable and when there are no witnesses who will hold them to account. That level of malicious intent is evil by most anyone's standards. Sympathy for the N's unfortunate early circumstances (once again, based on narcissist self-reporting) does not help the N nor his/her victims. It serves as a weak excuse. Many have suffered more and worse and haven't turned evil. Choice is involved. Period.
Can you provide the name of the work by Robert Hare?
all this is true after a child
hood of pain where you learned to fear your family I am starting to become free for once
So true, Anna!
I believe that while our emotions are not a choice, our behavior is. Therefore, even if a narcissist feels bad about themselves, they are responsible for the ways in which they act that out.
I also feel bad about myself, having been raised by two narcissists, but I choose to work on it. I would never want to ake someone else feel the way my parents made me feel. And that is my choice.
Thier choice was to abuse me and then lose me when I cut them out of my life. Wish I could cut them out of my mind as well!
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