Monday, February 04, 2008
Narcissist Suck Comment Policy [UPDATED]
I want to thank you all for your great comments. As each of you tell a piece of your history and experience it expands the knowledge base of this blog. I don't respond to very many comments because time limits me, but I always wish I could. Sometimes I just want to say, "Wow, amazing". When some of you thank me for what I've written it confirms that the effort has been very worthwhile. I appreciate all your words of appreciation. I also am very aware that I deserve very little credit. You all are doing the hard work in your own lives. Each of you are searching for answers (which leads you to places like my blog), each of you are having to do the effort to make huge changes in your lives. My admiration goes outward to each of you for the changes you are making. I have made similar changes...believe me, I know how difficult and heart-wrenching those changes can be as you are going through them. Facing reality hurts, but in the long run it heals. I feel a kinship with each of you.
I have made a firm decision as it relates to comments on my blog. I have decided that I do not need to be a host to drive-by snipers on my character. If a commenter has a substantive disagreement with an idea of mine I will very likely post it...if I feel I haven't already made my position on it very clear. I am never, ever offended by someone disagreeing with my positions as long as they've given me a fair hearing and are not ignoring what I've said or twisting my words. These types of substantive comments are entirely different than someone who chooses to make me, personally, into the problem. If someone disagrees with my ideas and my usually well-stated and logical positions then take issue with the position itself. Don't make it about me and my person. When someone attacks personality rather than the substance of the idea itself...it is proof positive they have no truth to bring to the table. Therefore, I am under no obligation to host their bile on my own blog.
So, for anyone who hates me personally...I am fine with that. Hate me all you want to. But from now on you'll have to host your comments on your forum or blog. I may or may not see it. If I see it, I may or may not choose to address it. My call. No more comments will be approved by me which are not on topic to the focus of this blog. Nasty, drive-by snipes upon me personally do not add substantively to the subject matter. You snipers can tell yourselves all you want that my not approving your comments is some kind of bad reflection on me. Suit yourselves. Reasonable people can understand my logical stance on this and would not think less of me for not allowing trolling, anonymous, drive-by snipers take pot shots at me.
There ya have it. This is Narcissists Suck comment policy. Like it or lump it.
UPDATE (June 24, 2008): Recent trends in the comments reveals the need for me to further define the rules.
This is a blog. This is not a forum. The purpose of the comments section on a blog post is to comment on the content of the post not on any old thing that comes into your head as you type. My comments section is not a place to grandstand or get on your own hobby horse. If you have no comment on the issues brought up in the post then you need to sit on your fingers.
This blog is my personal property. You do not have an unrestricted right to say anything you wish to here. The comment section is a privilege not a right.
1)If you disagree with someone and can't find a way to do so graciously...then be assured your comment will not see the light of day.
2) If I don't like a comment for any other reason it will also be moderated out. The archives of this blog will bear out that I am generous in my comment policy. I will still be generous, but I will also stop ignoring the niggling concerns I have about certain comments because my gut is usually right on target. I have consistently regretted it when I have dismissed my concerns.
So...if you find your comments moderated out, sorry. Decisions are final. I have labored for untold hours on this blog. There are now hundreds of posts. Those posts represent uncountable hours of labor on my part. I have made every effort to make this blog a quality web site. It will not get dragged down in the comments. The comments, if they do not add to the quality of this blog, are outta there. The quality of my blog attests to the fact that I have some idea of what quality is. If your comment doesn't measure up to my standard, that is the way the cookie crumbles. I expect people to act like grown-ups about it.
Again, this is not a forum. This is a blog. The blog posts have a comment section. Comments are designed to be comments on the blog post content not a jumping off point to talk about whatever pops into your head. Occasionally comments can veer slightly off the topic at hand as natural segues and I have been lenient on that. I will still choose to occasionally be lenient on that. My call, not yours.
Once you hit "publish" your comment becomes the property of this blog. I may post it or not, but since you never know for sure then assume it will get posted. If you want assured privacy then send an email.
I appreciate that most people behave quite properly in the comments. This update is for the few who can't figure out the obvious.
[icon by mysticxf]