Sunday, June 22, 2008

Taking a Summer Vacation/Hiatus

It has been settled here at home. It is past time for me to take a vacation. I have been blogging for just under two years now and written the equivalent of a large book. I'm tired and need a break. It has not been easy applying my noggin to the subject of human evil this steadily and intensively and this long.

Summer has started, there is lots to do, life is short and I'm grabbing it by the ... uh, horns. I'm planning to take the whole summer off. My email is still available to courteous, intelligent inquiries. I will respond as I'm able. If you are signed up with Feedburner then you'll always know when the next post comes along without having the hit the front page.

I plan to post a list of the most popular pages of Narcissists Suck in the next few days for the benefit of new peeps who may coast in from their Google searches. If you haven't already, I hope you'll take advantage of the wealth of information in the archives. There is no time stamp or expiration on the value of the information in the archives.

I hope the rest of you are planning to enjoy your summer with family, friends, good books, good thoughts. Life is a gift. In a very real way, the quality of that gift is something you create yourself. We each have the power to make a good life with whatever circumstances we find ourselves in if we are determined to do so. I hope each of you are determined to squeeze every drop out of joy out of the life you've been given and not surrender another second to the narcissists. It is to that end that I have labored. Make me proud.


Anonymous said...

Anna Thanks for all your encouragement. I am determined to make a good life for myself and my family. And finally knowing that this is the only viable solution ie. anecdote to the destruction of narcissism. Thanks a million x a million!! Enjoy and be rested this summer. I'll miss hitting current blogs, however I'll definetely visit the archives regularly.
hugs and prayers to you and your husband and daughter!
Miss ya jac

Anna Valerious said...

Thanks, Jacqueline, for the kind thoughts. I also love hearing that you are taking control of your own life from the narcissists. It is testimony like that which has been my reward in this labor of love otherwise known as "Narcissists Suck".

All the best to you and yours.

K said...

God Bless you Anna. Have a great summer full of non-blogging activities. You deserve the break.

Anonymous said...

A huge thank you for everything Anna, and I wish you the very best with your summer plans.

Thanks again & enjoy.

Anonymous said...


No one deserves a break more than you! I am so grateful for all you've given me these past 2 yrs.

I can only hope that we've given back some of what you've given us.
I'm sure your strength & wisdom will just keep getting passed on down the line. As I know is the reason you write with such fervor.

Have a blast! If you get a chance, send us a "postcard". You know we'd all love to hear about the summer fun you're having!

I will make it a point to go back & start reading the archives again. I've wanted to for awhile.
You know how things affect us differently at different times in our lives. When I was 1st reading your blog, I was in a much different place with all this awareness. Your writings opened my eyes & put a name to the evil. Now, after the experiences of the last 2 yrs, I'm sure I would get even more out of the great information you've shared. You're right-the lessons are timeless!

And as you said to me, you're right, my family IS a "complicated nightmare". One I've learned to navigate with strength & even HUMOUR at times! Thank you! thank you! Thank you!

If I spot you on the beach somewhere--I'll buy you a cup of coffee!!!

ENJOY!!!! Love, Katrina

Jeannette Altes said...


Enjoy. May your summer be filled with the things you love. ;-)

Thank you for the gift of your time and your heart.


Cathy said...

This is gonna be so weird...visiting this site and hearing what you have to say and everyone's comments has been like a daily friend to me!!

I'm wondering if you yourself might go through a little withdrawal, despite yourself, after doing this for 2 years nonstop.

I will miss you and miss the daily chatter on the blog but would never begrudge you the well deserved rest and relaxation that you need by taking the summer to do so.

Having said that - - - what is your exact definition of "summer"!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, Anna....! I'm so glad you are able to take this break/hiatus right now! You have given so much to us...especially of late....and it sounds like you have always been this type of person. It IS like living several lifetimes in one, eh?

Please....enjoy yourself, relax, love your family and yourself during your time. I look forward to your return with eagerness....Thoughts and prayers.....SafeJourney and GodSpeed in all your coming and goings. You WILL be missed!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moki said...


Enjoy your summer!! And thank you again for everything, you're truly a gem!!!

Anonymous said...

Good for you!! Applying yourself towards "telling" about the horrors of an N-mom; as I know, can really be wearing.

You've gotten a lot of hard won wisdom from doing so Anna -- and you've been good enough to pass along your insights to other ACONs in order to do something very important: VALIDATE all our experiences.

It's been a hard few months, especially with the passing of our mutual friend - Kathy Krajco.

Take your break and put your feet up. Here's cold drink and a foot massage for ya!

kyleth said...

I appreciate your insight and the time you take to share your experience. Sometimes it's just enough to know you're not alone.
Thank you so much.

Have an awesome vacation!

Anna Valerious said...

I'm wondering if you yourself might go through a little withdrawal, despite yourself, after doing this for 2 years nonstop.

Me thinks you doth project. :o)

This blog has been a labor of love, but it has been labor nonetheless. It hasn't been as easy as it looks! That being said, no, I do not anticipate having withdrawal symptoms. I am already basking in the freedom of disencumbering my mind and imagination from the dark palette of malignant narcissism. First, I lived it. Then, I have re-lived it here. Believe me, the break is welcomed, needed and will be thoroughly enjoyed.

My definition of summer is still fuzzy. I have no dates in mind. I'm winging it. When the mood strikes I'll be back. I need to stretch my mind in some different directions. The body does best when we work all the muscle groups. The mind works best that way too. So I will think about different things, study different subjects, breath deeply of the fragrant joys that I presently have. Kathy's sudden and early passing should be a reminder to all of us that we only have today. Dump the crap and smell the roses. My summer motto!

Anna Valerious said...

Hey, ya'll!

Thank you for the lovely send off! You all are very gracious. I appreciate it very much. I will be thinking of you all in my absence. God bless.

Vonnie said...

I just found your blog. Enjoy your summer, I will be catching up on all your posts!

Anna Valerious said...

Welcome, Vonnie!

Feel free to comment any time as I will still read and approve them even though I won't be actively blogging.

Anonymous said...

Anna, I was showing some of your comments to a friend and she was amazed at the wisdom you have and said you needed to write a book. She told me that narcissism is alive and well in the churches today & noone is bold enough to take a stand against it. Well, I think what you are doing here Anna is raising an army of men & women that will not stand for the evil one's tactics and no longer be victims. I am so happy you are taking a vacation & my prayers are that you will be rested, rejuvenated & full of creativity upon your return. Blessings to you, your daughter & husband. I will miss you.

Cathy said...

"Me thinks you doth project. :o)"

You always make me smile. Yes, you are right!!

I was thinking . . . even though the content of your blog is available for free to all of us due to your labor of love, isn't there somehow, some way,(if you are so inclined at a later point)to compile it into a book, get it out there enmasse, and make some money in the process. It seems to me that there would be a definite market for the wisdom written here on the issues that so many are struggling with. It's too bad you can't just lift it all off these pages "as-is" into a bound book that would be available in bookstores for all those not so inclined or don't prefer to use the internet. A bound, hard-copy of the content of your blog. Wow. People would definitely pay money for that.

Anonymous said...

"Dump the crap and smell the roses!"

Great advice, Anna. I wish you and yours a wonderful, restful summer vacation.

Thanks a million for all you have done to help us ACONs through the horror of our upbringings. Yes, you are truly a gem.

Be well, Anna, and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, Anna, it is I who will have the withdrawals from you. But I will read past blogs as you recommended. I also recently visited some of the other links you have on your page and they are wonderful too. I'm writing a paper on how Narcissism pertains to my soon-to-be-ex-N-husband. Exactly his traits, just so I can understand him better, and recognized it easier. His tactics are so much clearer these days. So predictable too. It's amazing to me I didn't see all this before. At least I finally see it now.
Thank you for your support and labor of love on these blogs! Happy summer to ya!

Anonymous said...

Yes, great advice, as always. What use is the journey if you never arrive? Enjoy that tranquil place called Peace and Quiet. I will, too.

Anonymous said...

Just wanted to add: Nothing makes roses bloom better than a pile of cr@p. How ironic!

Anna Valerious said...

Nothing makes roses bloom better than a pile of cr@p.

True. True. But you have to give the crap to the rose for that to happen. As long as you hang onto it you just end up stinky and the rose starves. :o)

Anonymous said...

I've already written above to give my thanks and best wishes, but I'd also like to chime in on another aspect. ACON's are trained not to know when to say when, never to take breaks, never say no, and NEVER to say it is time for "me".

Once again, you are a great example. We know you for kicking N butt and taking names, and now we get to see you knowing when to say it's time to kick back and have some "me" time, too.

Go you!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, you deserve a break!

Thanks for your efforts... your site has been a resource for people close to me and readers of my own site going through some serious difficulties.

Speaking for both myself and others - it's greatly appreciated.

Have an amazing vacation!

Anonymous said...

I originally came to this blog because I unexpectedly ran across a woman on the Internet whom I used to know in real life (after cutting off contact with her about ten years ago)-- and I had belatedly realized that she was basically a testbook case of NPD. At the time I knew her I had no idea that there was such a disorder, although she told me that she had been in and out of therapy. I think that finally being able to put a name to her problem has allowed me to become much more charitable toward her-- it's like being angry at someone who keeps cursing at you all the time and then finding out that he has Tourette's Syndrome. You still don't like being cursed at, but at least you don't take it personally any more.

I'm going to go and check out the archives some more-- have a good vacation, Anna

goodwillgal52 said...

Anna, July 4th, 2008, the day i celebrate my independence & my divorce from 'N"H, i found your site. 1st time learning about "N"s; my life explained, i had a "N" mother.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. you helped me find my marbles.
i had already gone "no contact" with "N" mother,
your blog is confirmation i made the best decision for the survival of me.
i agree with the many who are suggesting publishing all this insightful & VERY helpful informtaion.
Knowledge is a very powerful weapon against this DISease in our "N" infected lives.
blessings to U & U'rs for a happiness well deserved.

Anonymous said...

anna, i hope you are having a fantastic much deserved break, and enjoying every second of it.

it finally hit me today, though.. i miss seeing a new blog posted, and applying your newest wisdom to my life, and sharing it with my ACON hubby. we both feel stronger in our decision every time we read a new blog about n's, especially regarding narcissistic parents.

i'm sure i speak for many here when i say, i hope your time off is relaxing, fun and blessed. i just miss you. we miss you!


Anonymous said...

This is exactly what I needed today! Thank you! I am 46 and come away with a long string of very painful relatonships wth narcissistic men, the last one being 2 years ago this December. It's been a hard way to go. I did not know about NPD until the breakup of my last relationship which was a doozy! I am still reeling from it. I now understand that my father had malignant NPD. What an eye opener! There are so many things that I understand now that I never did before. This place that I find myself in, "alone", sometimes solitude and sometimes downright terrifying and lonely is a scary place to be. I a crave companionship so badly sometimes. I realize though that everything you wrote is sooo true. I am damaged goods so to speak and have much healing to do. I need to create the strong foundation within myself that was never built in the first place. I am growing emotionally by the leaps and bounds. Chronilogically I am growing too, older and older every minute! I fear that I will never have the opportunity to share the new found me with anyone. All I see in my future is a big blank, dark emptiness. It is truly a hard place to be, but a necessary one. I get very down sometimes and I think things like, what is it all for? By the time I am done building what should have been built in the beginnng it will be time to croak, so why bother? It is a struggle and a fight! I will not give up, but, the defeating side has a strong voice, one that was put there by my father. He would be passing me the bottle right about now if we were in contact! Thanks Anna for making my day!

Anna Valerious said...


Thanks for your comment. You've expressed some similar things to what 'jewell' expressed in a comment on my post on solitude vs. loneliness. I hope you'll hop over there to read my response to her, because I would want to say the same thing to you. Hang in there. No matter where we are in our personal growth, life is infinitely better once we toss out the narcissists!