Thursday, May 10, 2007
My Mother--You'd Love Her
Truth is, most of us are impressed by superficialities. It is this truth that many narcissists rely upon and are rewarded by.
Physical beauty, a sophisticated "air", apparent self-confidence, good fashion sense. Most of us form positive first impressions when all of these qualities manifest at once in a person. Add to that the ability to string a few comprehensible sentences together and we are ready to vote them into public office.
My mother embodies all the above characteristics. You'd like her. She makes a great first impression. Even a good second and third impression. For especially gullible and silly people out there, she remains a goddess in perpetuity. To all the characteristics above she adds an air of authority. She seizes authority in any context and most times people surrender to her without a thought. People like leaders. Most people like to be led. Especially if their chosen "leader" has enviable qualities that people wish to emulate or are happy to just be associated with.
She plays to her public. She excites their admiration with stirring speeches and by striking a pose here and there for effect. They wonder if they've seen her in movies. They marvel at the wisdom she dispenses. They are awed by her acts of charity. Her selfless "interest" in their problems inflates their own little egos. They crave her company as they sit on the edges of their seat hoping to receive another sign of her beneficent approval. I've watched her "public" slip into a hypnotized state just by watching her hands as she talks. Her beautiful, graceful tapered fingers. She moves her hands like butterflies as she speaks. Eyes are riveted, first on her face, then her hands. They're transfixed. They're eating out of those expressive, ever-animated hands. People can be so easily impressed.
Those who live with the beautiful and sophisticated narcissist are the only ones privy to what a cruel, selfish beast this creature really is. The poor souls who live with this beast know that not a soul would believe them if they dared to describe her abuse. You selfish ingrate! How could you say such a thing about Saint _______?! You long ago gave up on getting anything more than a crumb of consideration or kindness from her. You don't have anything she wants. You are a slave and she holds you in disdain for allowing her to enslave you. You have earned nothing but her contempt. The more you cower, the more she despises you. You watch her flit off periodically to receive the adulation of her public.
That would be you. Yes, I think you'd like my mother.