Sunday, April 20, 2008

Okay, Just One More Song...

I think ya'll are ready for one more song to rock you the rest of the way through the weekend. I promise to not post another song for awhile, but I really think you're gonna get into this one. It is titled "Fighter". No, I'm not a big Christina Aguilera fan. She has an awesome voice, but a lot of her songs don't do it for me. This one kicks butt. I'm going to post the lyrics on this since you may not catch every word. Every word is worth catching. Direct every word to the narcissist in your life.

Oh, and be sure to crank it up...



Fighter

When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, ohh

Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

18 comments:

Ellie said...

It is rumored, or has been stated outright, that Christina Aguilera was molested as a child and this is her dedication song to her molester. Research suggests that an overwhelming character trait that child molesters share is that they are narcissists of some variety.

Anonymous said...

oooh I needed to hear this song today. Thanks Anna.

Anonymous said...

Anna, my favourite cousin's hubby told me a while back that I should thank my narcissistic mother... because unbeknownst to her, she essentially made me into the strong person that I am today. I still take exception to that in a way, however, because I am not ready to concede that Narcissistic Momsie had any positive influence in my life whatsoeve and therefore deserves no credit. But I might just budge a tad.... 'cause I love Christina Aguilera and I think this song does contain a message, and it does move me.

Thanks, Anna, and peace and healing to all of you on this board!

Katherine Gunn said...

Hmm... One of my mom's favorite sayings is, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger." Maybe that's part of her child rearing dictum... ;-)

Yeah. I have always liked this song, even though I'm not a big Aguilera fan. It gets the fire deep inside going.

There are some Pat Benatar songs that do that for me, too, i.e., Invincible, You Better Run, and Hell Is For Children. Thanks for sharing.

Angela said...

Awesome song. I'm going to add it to My Space Playlist as the first song. I love to express myself through music. So many times I find it hard to express myself because I am afraid of what someone will think. I am a people pleaser. So I like to express myself through songs. I love the driving beat too.

Have you ever listened to Three Days Grace? The last song on their One-X CD about when you get knocked down, we get back up and stand above the crowd. That's me, I've been knocked down plenty of times and I always get back up and I come back stronger.

I was molested many times by 5 different men by the time I was 13 years old. My first husband was a child molester. (He's been in jail for 16 years now.) My father is a N-Dad and my second husband is just like him. Finally at 45 years old I learn about narcissism and I want to break free of these people. I recognize it more and more and quicker and quicker.

Thanks Anna for your expressions and openess!

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Anna

Anonymous said...

Thanks, again, Anna, for this uplifting song. It will help me through the day. Seems like I'm always struggling with something. Now my beloved 22 year old Siamese cat (yes, 22!) is dying. So this song helps me realize how strong I am and all the garbage that I have been through and endured. I'm a survivor! I've survived a beast of a malignantly narcissistic mother and a wretched childhood. She is still alive but I have severed my "relationship" with her. I have peace. I can surely survive losing a much-loved adoring Siamese cat, Whiskers. I'm treating him like royalty until the day comes, which looks like it will be very soon. I definitely feel that pets are better than some people. That's why we are so devoted to them and ache so much when we lose them.

Great song and so needed. Thanks so much, Anna. Your wonderful!

Anna Valerious said...

anonymous @ 8:04 a.m.,

I'm am so very sorry to hear about Whiskers. I'm amazed at his age, though! Wow. 22 years old. The oldest cat I ever met was a friend's Siamese who lived to age 19.

I admire your resolute strength. There is no doubt you will get through and rise above today's challenges. There is a book out there which is an incredible ode to the love of our pets. The author lost a beloved dog...the book is named after the dog, "Rescuing Sprite: A Dog Lover's Story of Joy and Anguish" by Mark Levin. It is the kind of book to read when anticipating losing a pet...or having lost one. If you need someone to deeply empathize with you, this book is it. It is also filled with hope to carry on.

All the best. My heart goes out to you. I agree with you about the love we have for our pets, and, yes, they are often way better than people.

Jordie said...

Cats are a great comfort. We recently lost our dog, and for the first time my husband and I were able to actually cry over our grief and loss.

After everything else we suffered lately, it all came out in our love for our dog.

My mother's reaction to our pets as kids was monstrous. I remember she took away a beloved pet guinea pig of mine, because 'I don't play with it anyway' which was an outright lie. I remember that terrible helpless feeling the day she wrenched it out of my arms, and the smug smile on her face as she did so.

No-one can ever do that again.

Anonymous said...

I remember she took away a beloved pet guinea pig of mine, because 'I don't play with it anyway' which was an outright lie.
-------------------------

What is it with NM's and PETS???

My NM did the EXACT same thing to me and my pet guinea pig... i loved that guinea pig and it was the first pet i was ever allowed to have.

We had her for a few months and she was moved from my bedroom, to the basement, to the garage (unheated) because "it stinks too much".... yes my mother was too lazy to clean out the cage on a weekly basis and expected me (7) and my sister (5) to do it ourselves....of course we were not as diligent as we should have been.

Anyone who owns rodents knows that to properly clean a cage it should be disinfected and rinsed to keep the smell away...something much too complicated for us kids.

All my mother did was bitch and moan about how horrible the guinea pig was and why can't it just DIE already! 2 yrs later the guinea pig was still alive in the garage (darn...didn't freeze to death like she hoped)...so one day i get back from school and the guinea pig is GONE! To a "farm" she said.

Me and my sister cried and cried all night until she finally agreed for us to visit it... weeks pass and we pestered her about visiting everyday (guess she thought we'd give up?)...

Finally, she takes us to a farm to visit the guinea pig. She tells us its living in the barn and of course there is no guinea pig...just bales of hay... "it must be hiding in the hay" she quipped. SO me and sis spent the whole time calling into the hay begging for our guinea pig to come out. She never did.

We cried and cried some more. After we left we wanted to visit again and that was when NM told us the guinea pig "ran away" on the farm.... um, yeah right! But as kids we believed her. Now looking back, i don't think she ever took the guinea pig to any farm.

After that she refused to give us anymore pets no matter how much we begged.

In my teens our neighbour gave us a pet bird as a gift. It lasted 2 months and my mother gave it away again.

I got a puppy from my gran at 16. She made me leave it at her house. Whenever i asked my mother WHY i could not keep the dog, she would tell me stories about how all the dogs she ever had ran away or hung themselves...


How cruel can a mother be???

Anonymous said...

Maybe Anna can write a blog about narcissists and pets....????

Ruby said...

It's not just pets that Ns don't let you keep.
At about 12 I was given the 'best' room in our house for my bedroom - it was a boring square room in a boring square house but it certainly was the biggest, and lightest. I was allowed to decorate it myself, and spent a lot of time and effort stripping the walls, helping my Dad put up wallpaper and so on. A while after it was done and I'd moved in - 3 or 4 months maybe - I was told that I didn't look after or enjoy it properly. My parents took it (N Mom, weak Dad) and I was moved to a small, dark room in the basement.

So, what IS in a heart? said...

I like the idea behind the song since it beats remaining a victim/becoming an abuser yourself, but I never actually cared for the song itself because I feel like it gives the abuser WAY too much credit.

Then again, it's not like she was naming names, and I doubt she has any contact with the abuser, so it's all good. Heh.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your kind words, Anna. We euthanized our precious Whiskers last night (March 23). He is gone and today is the first day without him. Yes, he was 22 years old, maybe older. We kind of lost track! Incredible age, but I took such good care of him.

The worst was returning home last night without him and sitting on the couch where he would always sit with me. I thought it would be so painful; but I managed to get through. A little ativan and some wine helped! Wasn't going to be driving anywhere.

We all cried like babies...the pain was so intense in us as he lay on the counter lifeless. His death was fast and painless. But we knew that we did the best thing for him. He was just suffering even though he wouldn't admit to it! Somehow I thought he would go on forever; he bore it so stoically.

This would be a good time to have a mother's love but I have no such thing. That saddens me too, now.

I've always had a huge place in my heart for animals. They are kind and sweet and have no malice towards others. They enjoy the moment.

We have one cat left. He's still quite young and he will be a comfort to us and we to him, I'm sure.

Thanks for recommending the book by Mark Levin, Anna. I will definitely search for it.

And thanks for all the articles about "mother's day." I always dreaded that dreadful farce of a day! Just another day to suffer and be a wimp at the hands of a beast. But not any more. Thanks goodness, not any more!

Thanks for all that you do, Anna.

Anna Valerious said...

You brought tears to my eyes. I am so sad and sorry for your loss. I know how pets are like family members...and, yeah, it would be nice to have a good mother at this time for some consolation. Thankfully, you know better than to go to a bad mother to find it. I am relieved that you're not going to be adding to your recent sorrow the burden of trying to placate and bow to an evilmother on Mother's Day.

Hang in there, friend.

yes, i'm angry said...

i know this post is a little old, but i just wanted to throw another good song in there.

i'm not a huge country fan, but "not ready to make nice" by dixie chicks is a good un.

=]
h.

Not Ready to Make Nice
by Dixie Chicks

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

I'm through with doubt
There's nothing left for me to figure out
I've paid a price
And I'll keep paying

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Can't you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it

I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind sayin'
It's a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Sayin' that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I'm not ready to make nice
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell and
I don't have time to go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
'Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting

Anonymous said...

You should add "Enough" starring Jennifer Lopez to the list. The "Mr. Wonderful" she met and married in the movie was a full blown NPD'er if you ask me! An NPD'er who got the tables turned on HIM!!! Excellent movie I own and watch repeatedly :0). Enjoy!

Anonymous said...

ANOTHER most excellent and fitting song for the subject!