I was asked to revisit the comment that I parsed out in this post and make a more thorough job of it. The request came because I had glossed over a couple of paragraphs due to my boredom with the lame arguments therein. Because the request was coming from someone who found themselves disquieted by those glossed-over-by-me paragraphs I have found the motivation to finish the job. I don't want anyone to be struggling with residual discomfort from the words of an ignorant, drive-by Christian. I will pick up where I left off. The commenter's words are in italics.
God's word gives us clear principles to live by as far as dealing with those who are living in sin.
Yes, it does give us those "clear principles". The principles vary depending on whether or not the sinner is a repentant one or not. This person doesn't acknowledge that fact. Many of the claims of this commenter I have dealt with in my second post on the 5th commandment. In my post, "A Wicked Man", I deal with the problem of other Christians instructing us to stay in a relationship with an evil person, and how doing so contradicts God's own commands.
We are no better. Their sinful selfish attitude is no worse than any one of our sins. We all need the SAME Grace.
While I do not argue that we all are recipients of the same grace, I find it repugnant to pull the moral equivalence gambit when we are talking about the kinds of cruel abuses and predatory and evil behaviors of malignant narcissists. There is a chasm of difference between a sinner who recognizes their need for forgiveness and salvation and the malignant narcissist who consistently and persistently practices his life of vileness all the while acting like they need no such grace. Sorry, you can't make those two things equal and be any kind of consistent or rational. Or Biblical.
If we are truly going to deal with Narcissism in a Biblical manner then we need to use all of God's word not just parts of it to fulfill our own needs and desires.
Which is what I do...and what this commenter has not done. In the very blog post this person was commenting on he/she had overlooked strong Biblical statements which are positive commands for Christians to "walk away" from evil doers. I'm not the one picking and choosing which part of God's word to follow.
Just in case you are wondering, my mother is narcissistic. I was raised by her. Still struggling with her.
I think we can all understand why this person is "still struggling" with their narcissistic mother. That struggle will last until the old woman is laid in her grave.
But I will not adhere to un-biblical principals just to satisfy my own selfish desires to be "free of her". I want to do things God's way and help to restore her to her Saviour and our relationship to one that God wants it to be.
This is an naked accusation. By that I mean the accusation bears no proof with it. The accusation is laid, and the pretense which goes along with it is that this accusation alone proves the author's point. It does no such thing. Where is their proof that I am presenting un-biblical principals to support my so-called selfish desires? I have laid out the biblical support for my statements. Where is this persons proof? The only texts they presented demonstrably support my view, not theirs.
The next few words reveal the basis of their emotional fervor: the belief that the redemption of their mother is dependent on this person's own faith and spiritual virtue. I have already identified this as proceeding from a savior complex. Please read here and here. I know some Christians feel like they are demonstrating a lack of faith in their God's ability to save someone if they should walk away from the evil doer. This is itself unbiblical. God can save...you can't. Get over yourself, get out of the way, let God do His thing. He doesn't need you to hang in there for eternity with an evil doer in order to save the evil doer. He has specifically told you to get away from the persistent evil doer. Quit disobeying the God you are pretending to be obeying.
Dividing us is Satan's work.
This kind of categoric statement annoys me to no end. Probably because it is becoming such a popular mantra in Christianity. I mentally roll my eyes now when I hear this one. I heard it so many times from my sister that it became a standard part of her phone calls to me for years. There was "war in heaven". God Himself took up some kind of arms against the angelic rebels in order to "cast them out. See this post. Christ boldly proclaimed He is a divider when he said he "came not to send peace but a sword". Matt. 10:34-36. "I came to set at variance..." Um, looks to me like Christ himself is laying claim to being a divider. Strong words to claim that all division is "Satan's work". This person has condemned their own Savior.
By the way, ya'll may find it mildly interesting that the commenter above came back to my blog yesterday afternoon. Since I wrote down all their particulars, ISP, IP address, city, state, google search words, I immediately noticed the stats when the person came back. I kept track of the info because I was curious to see if this person would be returning to my blog. Well, they did. Using the exact same search words, "biblical view of narcissism", they hopped onto my blog via the very post where I parsed out their own comment. This person then did about 10 page views spending about 35 minutes on the blog. Their "out click" was the comments on the blog post, "Breathing Example of Last Post". So this person saw not only what I had to say, but what you all had to say too. The part I find especially interesting about this is that they didn't come back with another comment. Take that to mean what you will. I have my own ideas on what that means.