"Krl" kindly directed my attention to an article that came out of Psychology Today on whether we must forgive in order to be healthy and happy emotionally. I read the article in stunned amazement...happy amazement.
From Must You Forgive?
Adapted from "Forgiving & Not Forgiving: A New Approach to Resolving Intimate Betrayal" (Avon Books, August 1999) by Jeane Safer, Ph.D.
From the political to the personal, Americans are caught in an orgy of forgiveness. Failure to pardon, we're constantly admonished, will blight our lives. Now a psychotherapist counters that popular claim. You can refuse to absolve your lover, spouse, parent, sibling or friend, she declares, and still be emotionally healthy.
I am glad to report that this article resonates and, in some important respects, reiterates what I've written on the topic of forgiveness. I find relief in seeing some clear-eyed analysis of this subject coming from the psych community. Telling people who have been and continue to be abused in close relationships that they must forgive "or else" is very often counter-productive to gaining true peace and a healthy approach to life.
I hope the link to this article doesn't fizzle away any time soon as I would like future readers of this blog to have access to it.
Thanks for the "heads up" on the article krl!