Love is an internal principle. You can't impose it from the outside. To attempt to gain love or compliance illicitly always involves the external rule of force. A narcissist wants you to prove your love for them by forcing you to bend to their rules.
- A forced obedience is no obedience at all, but rather it is slavery.
- A manipulated obedience is no obedience at all, but deception.
- A purchased obedience is no obedience at all, but bribery.
- An obedience rendered in fear of adverse consequences is no obedience at all, but self-preservation.
All the above statements bring clear memories to my mind of my mother's methods in raising me. She used every perverted and externally imposed force to achieve compliance. There was no way to assuage her anger and rage, her petulance and sulking, her explicit or implicit expectations except by total compliance and capitulation.
It is never about love with the narcissist. They are incapable of giving or receiving it because life is always about getting their way. Force is always involved when getting ones way is not optional in ones thinking. Love can't use force and remain love. Love must woo, entice, attract. It is the beauty of a loving character that attracts. The narcissist has a twisted, ugly, and evil character which becomes apparent if you find yourself under a narcissist's power and control. To keep you in their power they must use force otherwise you would leave them to rot in their personal hell alone. Recognize it for what it is. Don't call what they do and say "love". It never was and never will be. They are tyrants and despots in their hearts. One of the powerful tools of enslavement of your soul is by their perverted definitions of love. Their demands for obedience always involve force in some form. If you are complying to their whims, wishes, commands from any of the above motivations then you are not motivated by love for that person either. You are their slave; physically, emotionally and mentally. Free yourself. That is what real love requires. Real love will not aide and abet evil.
Love = freedom of your will and your soul to do right.
Force = slavery of your will and your soul to do evil.
Are you a slave, or are you free?