and is sucking the life out of you
It is essential for narcissists to live parasitically off of our humanness in order to be able to present themselves to the world as something other than the alien life forms they are. They use normal people around them to prop up their pretense of normalcy. This is accomplished in a million different ways. Projection, devaluation of your virtues, blaming and shaming are a few of the tools which accomplish this.
Projection: The narcissist wipes the crap of their own behaviors or motives onto you making it seem like you are something you are not. Somehow the act of projection gives the psychological cover the narcissist needs. It distances themselves from what they do, say or think by wiping the shit off of themselves onto you. Then they stand back, shake their heads and marvel at what a stinky, dirty mess up you are. It is not rational, but it is psychologically effective for them. It works even better when you start to believe this alternate reality is true, resulting in you feeling responsible for all the crap you find yourself in. They've taken you and their pathetic self and transposed the images. Your normalcy and decency has been stolen by them to hold up a false image of themselves to the world.
Devaluation of your virtues: Nothing like true virtue in you to set off the fury and envy of a narcissist. Without even trying, you show them up for what they are. The solution? Take your virtues, twist them upside down, then slander you to whomever will listen. Are you a scrupulously honest person? The narcissist will turn you into a liar. Are you a talented musician? The narcissist will denigrate, criticize and negatively compare you to themselves or some other musician until you become convinced you have no talent whatsoever and give up. Are you compassionate and caring? The narcissist will turn you into a weakling and a sap.....or accuse you of being selfish and uncaring. We could go on here forever. There is no virtue that a narcissist can't tarnish. By tarnishing your virtues the narcissist has lessened you in the eyes of others, and maybe even in your own eyes. Now the narcissist can feel they look good in the comparison. Again, they have swiped some of your humanness from you to prop up their image and camouflage that they are predatory alien life forms.
Blaming: There is nothing a narcissist does, says or thinks that they can't blame someone else for. This is where you come in real handy. They can absolve themselves completely at your expense. Another theft of your good name and your humanness.
Shaming: When one is caught in the grip of a narcissist it can be extremely difficult to not succumb to the shaming techniques of a narcissist. They use this tool to great effect to keep your level of resistance to a minimum while they continue to rape your self respect, good name, good graces and decency. It is because you are a decent person that shaming is so effective. You can be shamed because you have a conscience. The narcissist is a real adept at turning your conscience against you. If you can be convinced that you deserve the shame and blame heaped upon you then you can be used by the narcissist to keep yourself in line. This is yet another theft of your humanity used to prop up the false image of the narcissist. If you accept the shame then you are likely to shut up and put up with the narcissist's behaviors. You will act like what they do is normal which usually means that you start thinking you're the crazy one. In this transaction, the narcissist comes out looking like the sane one because you've accepted his insanity as your own.
Aliens do exist and they are trying to take over your body and soul. Resist. Narcissists do not believe they are mere humans. They take themselves out of the realm of humanity by thinking they are something different, something more and better than human. Even though they get that part wrong....the part about being better than the rest of us....they do get it partly right: they are not human. This makes them aliens. Not nice, benevolent aliens either. They are the kind that live off of you parasitically and destroy you in the process.
It is possible to dis-empower the parasitic narcissist in your life. Isn't that what you really want to do? Well, you do have some power here. You must extract yourself from their sphere completely so they can no longer use you to appear to be something they aren't. You were not born to be a source of nourishment for a parasitic alien life form. Why should we allow our lives, our normalcy, our decency to be prostituted by some narcissist for their own selfish purposes? Can't find a reason.