Since shortly after starting this blog I have wrestled with whether or not I wanted to talk about my sister here. She has only gotten scant mention because I just haven't been able to decide whether I want to try to describe my relationship with her.
I realize there are a couple of reasons for my hesitancy. First, I'm not sure if she could be described as a malignant narcissist or not. This is because I have really not spent enough time around her since I left home at age 17 to have enough evidence in my "file" to fairly convict her. I have this "thing" about being fair.
The second reason is because she did a lot to annoy me, make my life difficult and piss me off, but she really hasn't been in a "power-over" position in my life. Because of her lack of power to control me, I haven't put her in the same category as my mother.
Whether or not my sister is a full-blown narcissist, she definitely has very strong narcissistic traits. She was part of the dynamic that made my life positively miserable before I left home. I remember saying to my husband shortly after our elopement (at age 17) that I was more glad to leave my sister behind than my mother. I remember telling him how I hated my sister. I didn't hate my mother. There is something there and it isn't sibling rivalry. I have never felt competitive with my sister for anything. She, on the other hand, has always been competitive with me. She was a lazy, lying, manipulative, strong-arming little bitch. I'll try to support that statement with the evidence as I go along.
So I think I'll forge ahead and make some attempts at describing my sister. I'm in a position in my life to be able to stand back and see the big picture where she and I are concerned. A few weeks ago I reached the one year anniversary of the day I blew her off. I haven't decided if I'm going to stay out of her life in perpetuity, but so far, I've really enjoyed not having to deal with her. I'm thinkin' she's history.
I'll share some of the history with you. For whatever it is worth. It'll be an enjoyable exercise for me because she deserves for me to finally call her on her shit...even if she never sees it.