or how the narcissist makes you the problem
There is an interesting article published in 1990 in a psychology journal that I'd like to reference in this and upcoming posts. Parts of the article are more interesting than others so I'll summarize some of them in my own words. The parts of this article that I plan to highlight here on my blog are those concepts that I've personally seen and experienced. If I've seen and experienced it, then it is likely you have too.
One of the concepts this article visits is the subject of criticism as used by the narcissist. One of the terms this article uses is "narcissistically defended person". What this means is that the person is either a narcissist, or they have adopted narcissistic defenses even if their over-all personality can not be classified as someone with NPD. So, some of the behaviors can be seen in a person who can not be reasonably classified as having the full-blown disorder of narcissism. But, I'm here to tell ya, it is likely you will see most, if not all, of the behaviors in a narcissist.
One of the ways that the "narcissistically defended person" avoids making reparations in a relationship is by making you the problem. One vehicle for this process is criticism. There are several ways that you open yourself up to criticism from the narcissist:
He may see you as an extension of himself therefore any imperfection in you is a reflection on him and threatens his view of himself as being perfect. "Grandiose self", as the professionals refer to it, is under threat when you fall short of his expectations.
Or you can disappoint him by not being the perfect counterpoise to his grand self. He expects you to be effortlessly all-knowing and all empathic. You are expected to perceive his needs, his wants, his thoughts without him ever having to ask you to. This, of course, preserves his delusion of himself that he is god-like.
As long as he doesn't have to ask you for something he can pretend he doesn't need you.
This is very important to this discussion. His grandiose view of himself doesn't allow him to admit to himself that he needs anybody. Even those who could not be considered narcissistic can have a hard time admitting to needing others. It is sort of the human condition. With the narcissist, though, it is carried to an extreme. It is this unbending conviction that they need no one that makes either true gratitude or true remorse impossible for him to give to you. I'll elaborate on that more in another post.
What I'm talking about today is how you are set up by the narcissist for criticism. Not only does admitting to having needs of his own threaten his god-like status, but your expressing a need that you want the narcissist to fulfill, or your telling him how you feel about something he has said or done, puts a target on your head. Zap. You hardly know what hit you. He can turn it around on you in an instant.
Example: a narcissist who is nurturing a grandiose vision of herself as a spiritual paragon of virtue is asked to admit that she gossiped about you. Rather than admit to being a gossip she will tell you that she only stated the truth about you and apparently you can't handle the truth being said. Because there some truth in her gossip, you suddenly feel like you have no right to expect an apology or restitution. The narcissist successfully transfers attention from their defects of character to your alleged defects. You were disarmed because of the smidgen of truth in the accusations.
In psychological terms, the narcissist pathologizes you in order to preserve the false grand image of themselves. In the wake of the narcissistic attack you are left feeling like you are bad. This is related to the idea of projection. You challenged their god-like and perfect image in some way, so they are compelled to transfer their unconscious sense of badness onto you in order to render themselves without fault or imperfection. This is very destructive to you.
Something the article focuses on is how the narcissist can do this pathologizing of you all the more effectively if they are versed in psychoanalytic terms and processes. This can be someone who works in the field of psychology or simply someone who has immersed themselves in pop psychology books. I have experienced this personally with my sister. She became a much more adept manipulator, much more subtle manipulator, after she'd spent some time studying a Christian psychology-based course. After that she was always diagnosing everyone else's supposed faults and became very adept at pathologizing anyone who dared to contradict her in any way. Because she can sound so authoritative and use professional sounding terms to pathologize her victims, the victims are usually rendered voice-less and condemned without any hope of appeal. Not to mention the extra power of using a Christianized form of psychology to keep people subjected spiritually and morally as well as emotionally. I hate Christian psychology. It is mis-used much more than people like to admit.
There is a growing understanding out there among the professionals that traditional psychological methods tend to worsen personality-disordered individuals rather than help them for the same reasons that I have observed in my sister; the personality-disordered person uses the information to improve their manipulation skills, not to correct their own character defects. Keep this in mind if you are toying with the idea of dragging the narcissist into therapy with you. Chances are you will end up with a bigger problem on your hands than you started with.
Above are described some of the ways you can find yourself cut down and cut to pieces by a narcissist's projection and criticism so you can avoid this dance. You don't have to participate in the narcissist's attempts to annihilate you and thereby preserve their grand selves. The narcissist's criticism is their defense against any and all hints that they are less than God Himself. The narcissist's efforts to transfer all fault onto you is not about you. It is about him. You are simply a tool to prop up his false image. I hope this makes you feel used because that is the reality of it. Which brings me to my constant refrain: get the hell away from the alien freak. Save yourself before it is too late.
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Uncommon Knowledge
An interesting read....
I just finished the book titled "Uncommon Knowledge" written by Judy Lewis. She was the love child of Loretta Young and Clark Gable. The book was recommended in a list of books which portray a narcissistic parent an ACON email group I belong to. I ordered a used book from Amazon Marketplace.
If you like biographical books about Hollywood stars, you'll probably like this one. There are many interesting characters that pop up throughout the narrative. The author is not whiny and doesn't seem to exaggerate. In fact, I got the feeling she underplays certain themes quite a bit. It feels like she gives her mother the benefit of the doubt more than she needs to. The crux of Judy's narrative is the secret of her conception and birth that carried on for decades. Judy was told that she was adopted. Somewhere along the way, she is not sure when, she understood that her mother was her biological parent. Then the only question in her mind was, who was her father? She didn't get a direct answer from her mother on this until Judy was in her 30's. It was supposed to remain a secret in perpetuity as far as Loretta was concerned.
I was not sure that Loretta Young was a narcissist even as far as half way through the book. Judy's perspective of her mother is probably the reason for that. It isn't until Judy gets older that the narrative reveals more and more of the pathologically narcissistic behaviors of her mother. Prior to that, Loretta Young appears to be just aloof and neglectful.....her husband (Judy's step-father), Tom Lewis, seems to be the only narcissist in the story. The picture begins to come into sharper focus as Judy becomes old enough to assert herself or to question her mother. By the time I got to the last 100 pages of the book, I'm seeing a description of my own narcissistic mother. The attitudes, the behaviors, the sly put-downs, the need to be constantly admired, the instant dismissal of anyone or anything that threatens force reality onto the consciousness of the narcissist, etc. For myself, the book also made me realize that my mother acted the role of "movie star" even though she never was one.
What is intriguing to me is that Judy Lewis went to college in her forties to become a clinical psychologist. Why doesn't she seem to ever even toy with the idea that her mother had a personality disorder? Maybe the answer lies in the timing of the book. Judy was finally estranged from her mother at the age of 51. After the rift, Judy decides it is time for her to be able to publicly claim her paternity so she writes the book. It comes out three years into her estrangement with her mother in the year 1994. I think it is clear that Judy was still hoping for a reconciliation. I suspect that hope explains why she seems to downplay the malignancy of her mother's treatment of her, as well as why Judy doesn't throw out psychology based theories and diagnoses of her mother. Loretta was suspicious and hostile toward psychology.
I went hunting on the Internet and found out from an interview with Judy Lewis in the year 2002. She explains that the book coming out deepened the rift between her and her mother. This is not surprising because the cause of the rift between mother and daughter was Loretta's belief that Judy was writing a tell-all book....a rumor that wasn't true at the time. Apparently, after 12 years of estrangement Judy and her mother reconciled until Loretta's death from ovarian cancer in 2001 three years after the reconciliation. I don't think that reconciliation could have occurred if Judy had dared to assign narcissistic personality disorder to her mother in the book or had taken harsher views of her mother's behaviors.
You can read it for yourself and decide if Loretta Young was a full-blown narcissist. I think she was. I also think that she worsened with age....as seems to be the trend with narcissists. Especially when age dims their beauty or fame. Judy was not privy to her mother's professional relationships. I suspect many people saw the narcissism because her nick-name in Hollywood became the "Iron Butterfly"....a moniker that Loretta took some pride in. She was known for being able to always get her way. Narcissism is more the norm in Hollywood. People expect a certain amount of it there....and seem to think it is justified in movie stars. You rarely see condemnation of narcissism coming from Hollywood about Hollywood. One of the best movies about Hollywood stars and their narcissistic preoccupation with beauty and/or fame is "Death Becomes Her". I always am greatly entertained by the morbid yet comedic portrayal of a couple of somatic narcissists. Of course, it allows me to laugh out loud at my own mother's extreme vanity....I see a portrayal of her in that movie and it does me great good to be able to laugh at her ridiculousness. It is funny as long as you aren't actually living in it.
I just finished the book titled "Uncommon Knowledge" written by Judy Lewis. She was the love child of Loretta Young and Clark Gable. The book was recommended in a list of books which portray a narcissistic parent an ACON email group I belong to. I ordered a used book from Amazon Marketplace.
If you like biographical books about Hollywood stars, you'll probably like this one. There are many interesting characters that pop up throughout the narrative. The author is not whiny and doesn't seem to exaggerate. In fact, I got the feeling she underplays certain themes quite a bit. It feels like she gives her mother the benefit of the doubt more than she needs to. The crux of Judy's narrative is the secret of her conception and birth that carried on for decades. Judy was told that she was adopted. Somewhere along the way, she is not sure when, she understood that her mother was her biological parent. Then the only question in her mind was, who was her father? She didn't get a direct answer from her mother on this until Judy was in her 30's. It was supposed to remain a secret in perpetuity as far as Loretta was concerned.
I was not sure that Loretta Young was a narcissist even as far as half way through the book. Judy's perspective of her mother is probably the reason for that. It isn't until Judy gets older that the narrative reveals more and more of the pathologically narcissistic behaviors of her mother. Prior to that, Loretta Young appears to be just aloof and neglectful.....her husband (Judy's step-father), Tom Lewis, seems to be the only narcissist in the story. The picture begins to come into sharper focus as Judy becomes old enough to assert herself or to question her mother. By the time I got to the last 100 pages of the book, I'm seeing a description of my own narcissistic mother. The attitudes, the behaviors, the sly put-downs, the need to be constantly admired, the instant dismissal of anyone or anything that threatens force reality onto the consciousness of the narcissist, etc. For myself, the book also made me realize that my mother acted the role of "movie star" even though she never was one.
What is intriguing to me is that Judy Lewis went to college in her forties to become a clinical psychologist. Why doesn't she seem to ever even toy with the idea that her mother had a personality disorder? Maybe the answer lies in the timing of the book. Judy was finally estranged from her mother at the age of 51. After the rift, Judy decides it is time for her to be able to publicly claim her paternity so she writes the book. It comes out three years into her estrangement with her mother in the year 1994. I think it is clear that Judy was still hoping for a reconciliation. I suspect that hope explains why she seems to downplay the malignancy of her mother's treatment of her, as well as why Judy doesn't throw out psychology based theories and diagnoses of her mother. Loretta was suspicious and hostile toward psychology.
I went hunting on the Internet and found out from an interview with Judy Lewis in the year 2002. She explains that the book coming out deepened the rift between her and her mother. This is not surprising because the cause of the rift between mother and daughter was Loretta's belief that Judy was writing a tell-all book....a rumor that wasn't true at the time. Apparently, after 12 years of estrangement Judy and her mother reconciled until Loretta's death from ovarian cancer in 2001 three years after the reconciliation. I don't think that reconciliation could have occurred if Judy had dared to assign narcissistic personality disorder to her mother in the book or had taken harsher views of her mother's behaviors.
You can read it for yourself and decide if Loretta Young was a full-blown narcissist. I think she was. I also think that she worsened with age....as seems to be the trend with narcissists. Especially when age dims their beauty or fame. Judy was not privy to her mother's professional relationships. I suspect many people saw the narcissism because her nick-name in Hollywood became the "Iron Butterfly"....a moniker that Loretta took some pride in. She was known for being able to always get her way. Narcissism is more the norm in Hollywood. People expect a certain amount of it there....and seem to think it is justified in movie stars. You rarely see condemnation of narcissism coming from Hollywood about Hollywood. One of the best movies about Hollywood stars and their narcissistic preoccupation with beauty and/or fame is "Death Becomes Her". I always am greatly entertained by the morbid yet comedic portrayal of a couple of somatic narcissists. Of course, it allows me to laugh out loud at my own mother's extreme vanity....I see a portrayal of her in that movie and it does me great good to be able to laugh at her ridiculousness. It is funny as long as you aren't actually living in it.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Speaking of Narcissistic Mothers
A few days after I had my first baby my mom gave me some motherly advice. It went like this,
Of course, now that I'm many years away from this and have much perspective, I understand that she was revealing much about herself and nothing about me. I never had the urge to kill my babies. Never once did I want to smash their heads into a hard object just to relieve myself of frustration. But I realize now what kind of mother I had from infancy. A homocidal bitch. She was projecting onto me. I am sure that she was actually hoping I would feel the way she
described because it would, in some way, make her feel justified in her homocidal urges.
What she said would qualify as suggestion. It wouldn't have occurred to me that mothers routinely felt like killing their helpless babies. Here was my loving mother **wheeze** putting a thought into my head that never before had residence there. She was trying to shape me into being like she was. If I ever confessed to having the same murderous feelings about my baby she would never have to feel like I would condemn her feelings toward me as a baby. It was a convoluted way to find absolution, in my opinion.
She has repeated over and over again through the years about how it was a very good thing that I was such a calm and quiet baby. She was depressed and overwhelmed. She just doesn't know what she would have done if I was other than I was. What usually goes unmentioned in this particular tape recording (as in one of those stories she has repeated many times) of hers was the reality that I was the result of an unwanted pregnancy. I am sure she blamed me for the fact that she was now married and saddled with responsibility rather than being the little social butterfly flitting about charming men and getting coddled and adored.
My only other sibling, a sister three years my junior, was my mom's wanted baby. My father didn't want any more children, so mom accidentally on purpose got pregnant. (A factoid she shared with me after I was grown.) My sister was anything but a calm and quiet baby, but somehow my mother could deal with that fact because this was the baby she longed for and wanted and connived to get. I suspect she never had homocidal urges when my sister was an infant. She spoiled my sister. My sister was somewhat of a trophy because she was blonde. My mother is hispanic and her family took special pride in family members who were fairer skinned, or had "blue" eyes (which meant they were some color other than brown), and light hair. So, I suppose she gained a fair amount of supply from family who fawned over her blonde baby.
My Nmom took extreme pride in her self-control. She is some kind of queen mother because she didn't kill me in my crib. For that she acts like she deserves a medal, and every whim and expectation of hers is mine to fulfill. Ha. I'm so far out of contact with her now that she doesn't even know what state in the U.S. I'm living in. She can take her expectations and shove them up.....well, let's just say, where da sun don't shine.
Oh, for the record, above mentioned spoiled sister doesn't know where to find me either. I can't tell you how good it feels every time I think about how I'm free from these two intensely selfish and controlling women. The relief is immense. I feel almost euphoric every time I think about it. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, life is good without narcissists.
"There are going to be times when your baby is going to make you very angry. In fact, you're going to be so angry that you'll wish you could throw him into a wall. You'll be tired and overwhelmed and the baby will just push you to absolute frustration. Now, you won't act out on those feelings, but you'll feel horrible about yourself for having them. I'm letting you know ahead of time so you won't feel like you're an awful mother for having those urges. All mothers feel like this from time to time."I nodded and thanked her for the wisdom. (I was quite young and still very much under my mom's control.)
Of course, now that I'm many years away from this and have much perspective, I understand that she was revealing much about herself and nothing about me. I never had the urge to kill my babies. Never once did I want to smash their heads into a hard object just to relieve myself of frustration. But I realize now what kind of mother I had from infancy. A homocidal bitch. She was projecting onto me. I am sure that she was actually hoping I would feel the way she
described because it would, in some way, make her feel justified in her homocidal urges.
What she said would qualify as suggestion. It wouldn't have occurred to me that mothers routinely felt like killing their helpless babies. Here was my loving mother **wheeze** putting a thought into my head that never before had residence there. She was trying to shape me into being like she was. If I ever confessed to having the same murderous feelings about my baby she would never have to feel like I would condemn her feelings toward me as a baby. It was a convoluted way to find absolution, in my opinion.
She has repeated over and over again through the years about how it was a very good thing that I was such a calm and quiet baby. She was depressed and overwhelmed. She just doesn't know what she would have done if I was other than I was. What usually goes unmentioned in this particular tape recording (as in one of those stories she has repeated many times) of hers was the reality that I was the result of an unwanted pregnancy. I am sure she blamed me for the fact that she was now married and saddled with responsibility rather than being the little social butterfly flitting about charming men and getting coddled and adored.
My only other sibling, a sister three years my junior, was my mom's wanted baby. My father didn't want any more children, so mom accidentally on purpose got pregnant. (A factoid she shared with me after I was grown.) My sister was anything but a calm and quiet baby, but somehow my mother could deal with that fact because this was the baby she longed for and wanted and connived to get. I suspect she never had homocidal urges when my sister was an infant. She spoiled my sister. My sister was somewhat of a trophy because she was blonde. My mother is hispanic and her family took special pride in family members who were fairer skinned, or had "blue" eyes (which meant they were some color other than brown), and light hair. So, I suppose she gained a fair amount of supply from family who fawned over her blonde baby.
My Nmom took extreme pride in her self-control. She is some kind of queen mother because she didn't kill me in my crib. For that she acts like she deserves a medal, and every whim and expectation of hers is mine to fulfill. Ha. I'm so far out of contact with her now that she doesn't even know what state in the U.S. I'm living in. She can take her expectations and shove them up.....well, let's just say, where da sun don't shine.
Oh, for the record, above mentioned spoiled sister doesn't know where to find me either. I can't tell you how good it feels every time I think about how I'm free from these two intensely selfish and controlling women. The relief is immense. I feel almost euphoric every time I think about it. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, life is good without narcissists.
Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers
A webpage recommendation
I came across this webpage a few days ago and thought I would post it here for your benefit. The author has impressed me with their ability to describe the subtleties of the relationship between a narcissistic mother and her child(ren), and how her methods of control are myriad and many of them fly below the radar for onlookers. Only the child sees the look, hears the tone of her voice, understands the dire threat of punishment in a raised eyebrow....
See if this person has captured your narcissistic mom.
Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers
UPDATE (10/28/09):
The link above has gone dead. Here is a link to another site which has reproduced the content of the Geocities site.
Click here
I came across this webpage a few days ago and thought I would post it here for your benefit. The author has impressed me with their ability to describe the subtleties of the relationship between a narcissistic mother and her child(ren), and how her methods of control are myriad and many of them fly below the radar for onlookers. Only the child sees the look, hears the tone of her voice, understands the dire threat of punishment in a raised eyebrow....
See if this person has captured your narcissistic mom.
Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers
UPDATE (10/28/09):
The link above has gone dead. Here is a link to another site which has reproduced the content of the Geocities site.
Click here
Thursday, September 21, 2006
The Parasite is an Alien
and is sucking the life out of you
It is essential for narcissists to live parasitically off of our humanness in order to be able to present themselves to the world as something other than the alien life forms they are. They use normal people around them to prop up their pretense of normalcy. This is accomplished in a million different ways. Projection, devaluation of your virtues, blaming and shaming are a few of the tools which accomplish this.
Projection: The narcissist wipes the crap of their own behaviors or motives onto you making it seem like you are something you are not. Somehow the act of projection gives the psychological cover the narcissist needs. It distances themselves from what they do, say or think by wiping the shit off of themselves onto you. Then they stand back, shake their heads and marvel at what a stinky, dirty mess up you are. It is not rational, but it is psychologically effective for them. It works even better when you start to believe this alternate reality is true, resulting in you feeling responsible for all the crap you find yourself in. They've taken you and their pathetic self and transposed the images. Your normalcy and decency has been stolen by them to hold up a false image of themselves to the world.
Devaluation of your virtues: Nothing like true virtue in you to set off the fury and envy of a narcissist. Without even trying, you show them up for what they are. The solution? Take your virtues, twist them upside down, then slander you to whomever will listen. Are you a scrupulously honest person? The narcissist will turn you into a liar. Are you a talented musician? The narcissist will denigrate, criticize and negatively compare you to themselves or some other musician until you become convinced you have no talent whatsoever and give up. Are you compassionate and caring? The narcissist will turn you into a weakling and a sap.....or accuse you of being selfish and uncaring. We could go on here forever. There is no virtue that a narcissist can't tarnish. By tarnishing your virtues the narcissist has lessened you in the eyes of others, and maybe even in your own eyes. Now the narcissist can feel they look good in the comparison. Again, they have swiped some of your humanness from you to prop up their image and camouflage that they are predatory alien life forms.
Blaming: There is nothing a narcissist does, says or thinks that they can't blame someone else for. This is where you come in real handy. They can absolve themselves completely at your expense. Another theft of your good name and your humanness.
Shaming: When one is caught in the grip of a narcissist it can be extremely difficult to not succumb to the shaming techniques of a narcissist. They use this tool to great effect to keep your level of resistance to a minimum while they continue to rape your self respect, good name, good graces and decency. It is because you are a decent person that shaming is so effective. You can be shamed because you have a conscience. The narcissist is a real adept at turning your conscience against you. If you can be convinced that you deserve the shame and blame heaped upon you then you can be used by the narcissist to keep yourself in line. This is yet another theft of your humanity used to prop up the false image of the narcissist. If you accept the shame then you are likely to shut up and put up with the narcissist's behaviors. You will act like what they do is normal which usually means that you start thinking you're the crazy one. In this transaction, the narcissist comes out looking like the sane one because you've accepted his insanity as your own.
Aliens do exist and they are trying to take over your body and soul. Resist. Narcissists do not believe they are mere humans. They take themselves out of the realm of humanity by thinking they are something different, something more and better than human. Even though they get that part wrong....the part about being better than the rest of us....they do get it partly right: they are not human. This makes them aliens. Not nice, benevolent aliens either. They are the kind that live off of you parasitically and destroy you in the process.
It is possible to dis-empower the parasitic narcissist in your life. Isn't that what you really want to do? Well, you do have some power here. You must extract yourself from their sphere completely so they can no longer use you to appear to be something they aren't. You were not born to be a source of nourishment for a parasitic alien life form. Why should we allow our lives, our normalcy, our decency to be prostituted by some narcissist for their own selfish purposes? Can't find a reason.
It is essential for narcissists to live parasitically off of our humanness in order to be able to present themselves to the world as something other than the alien life forms they are. They use normal people around them to prop up their pretense of normalcy. This is accomplished in a million different ways. Projection, devaluation of your virtues, blaming and shaming are a few of the tools which accomplish this.
Projection: The narcissist wipes the crap of their own behaviors or motives onto you making it seem like you are something you are not. Somehow the act of projection gives the psychological cover the narcissist needs. It distances themselves from what they do, say or think by wiping the shit off of themselves onto you. Then they stand back, shake their heads and marvel at what a stinky, dirty mess up you are. It is not rational, but it is psychologically effective for them. It works even better when you start to believe this alternate reality is true, resulting in you feeling responsible for all the crap you find yourself in. They've taken you and their pathetic self and transposed the images. Your normalcy and decency has been stolen by them to hold up a false image of themselves to the world.
Devaluation of your virtues: Nothing like true virtue in you to set off the fury and envy of a narcissist. Without even trying, you show them up for what they are. The solution? Take your virtues, twist them upside down, then slander you to whomever will listen. Are you a scrupulously honest person? The narcissist will turn you into a liar. Are you a talented musician? The narcissist will denigrate, criticize and negatively compare you to themselves or some other musician until you become convinced you have no talent whatsoever and give up. Are you compassionate and caring? The narcissist will turn you into a weakling and a sap.....or accuse you of being selfish and uncaring. We could go on here forever. There is no virtue that a narcissist can't tarnish. By tarnishing your virtues the narcissist has lessened you in the eyes of others, and maybe even in your own eyes. Now the narcissist can feel they look good in the comparison. Again, they have swiped some of your humanness from you to prop up their image and camouflage that they are predatory alien life forms.
Blaming: There is nothing a narcissist does, says or thinks that they can't blame someone else for. This is where you come in real handy. They can absolve themselves completely at your expense. Another theft of your good name and your humanness.
Shaming: When one is caught in the grip of a narcissist it can be extremely difficult to not succumb to the shaming techniques of a narcissist. They use this tool to great effect to keep your level of resistance to a minimum while they continue to rape your self respect, good name, good graces and decency. It is because you are a decent person that shaming is so effective. You can be shamed because you have a conscience. The narcissist is a real adept at turning your conscience against you. If you can be convinced that you deserve the shame and blame heaped upon you then you can be used by the narcissist to keep yourself in line. This is yet another theft of your humanity used to prop up the false image of the narcissist. If you accept the shame then you are likely to shut up and put up with the narcissist's behaviors. You will act like what they do is normal which usually means that you start thinking you're the crazy one. In this transaction, the narcissist comes out looking like the sane one because you've accepted his insanity as your own.
Aliens do exist and they are trying to take over your body and soul. Resist. Narcissists do not believe they are mere humans. They take themselves out of the realm of humanity by thinking they are something different, something more and better than human. Even though they get that part wrong....the part about being better than the rest of us....they do get it partly right: they are not human. This makes them aliens. Not nice, benevolent aliens either. They are the kind that live off of you parasitically and destroy you in the process.
It is possible to dis-empower the parasitic narcissist in your life. Isn't that what you really want to do? Well, you do have some power here. You must extract yourself from their sphere completely so they can no longer use you to appear to be something they aren't. You were not born to be a source of nourishment for a parasitic alien life form. Why should we allow our lives, our normalcy, our decency to be prostituted by some narcissist for their own selfish purposes? Can't find a reason.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)