Friday, August 22, 2008

How to Relax...A Pictorial

First, make sure it is in the middle of the day. You're not truly relaxing unless your slacking off on a perfect summer day.

Next, find that unmade bed. You know the one...the bed you didn't make because you were relaxing earlier in the day.

Stretch out in your favorite position, like this:



Okay. This last part is really important. Ignore the idiot with the camera and calmly close your eyes preparatory to the nice long nap you're going to take:



Oh, yeah. Dat's it. Floating in the zone.

If you did it right you'll look like this an hour later:



These helpful de-stressing tips are brought to you by the Narcissist's Suck mascot, Sherbie. If you're lucky he'll grace you with more helpful tips in the future. Just remember: it's all about the naps. Zen, baby, zen.

P.S. If you click on the pics they will give you a more life-like representation of this 22 pound ambulatory hair-ball.

20 comments:

Naive No Longer said...

I have to comment that as I clicked on the pictures of Sherbie, I had to admit, despite myself, that he is a beautiful cat. I am not a "cat person" (sorry) but he is beautiful. And he illustrated your point so beautifully!

Someone sent me the following video of Pinkey - another beautiful cat. Made me want to run right out and get one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zghAgjWkTIk

Check it out. Sorry if you have to type in the address. Don't think you can click on it from this venue.

Anna Valerious said...

Oh, man...you got me with that one! I laughed so hard I had to go get some Advil cuz it made my back hurt more! I couldn't stop laughing. Here I was expectin' a sweet, gorgeous kitty that would make my heart burst...and...and...it was a wild devil masquerading as a domestic feline!

I owe ya for the belly laugh. Oh, wait a minute. No, I don't. You gave me a back ache too...so I'm calling it even.

Anna Valerious said...

Perhaps I should add a little more context to why this video made me split a gut. I had just finished reading a post at my favorite blog...a post about how cats are assholes. I think you can see better now why following up that blog post with the video you sent put me into hysterics.

You can read about how cats are assholes here:

http://tiny.cc/zjSvh

Naive No Longer said...

I just about split a gut the first time I viewed it as well - at that poor chap's expense! I laugh every time I think of it and laughed again thinking of you watching it (hoping - although I think I knew better - that you wouldn't be offended).

I can't wait to get on that link you provided, however it is way past my beditime so it'll give me something to look forward to. 11:15 here on Eastern Time and I'm afraid if I get myself too much more riled up I might not be able to catch those nice little zzzzz's that Sherbie so lusciously displayed.

BTW, Pinkey is a Narcissist. Knew how to hone right in on the most vulnerable of that man's spots.

P.S. Sorry about your back. Perhaps your chiropractor will understand. Send him the video.

krl said...

Whut iz reeelly funny to me is seeing the neatly laid out top or shirt or whatever under him. Yeah...all ready to wear...and you turn your back for a second and the damcat thought it was pretty 'neat' too!!

Barbara said...

Cats -- the ultimate Narcissist.

Gotta love it. At least they declare what they are BEFORE they mess with you. ;)

Naive No Longer said...

Oh, and lest you wonder why for a minute I thought you might be offended . . .

I sent the video to a cat-lover friend of mine who retorted, "Is that supposed to be funny?"

Funny, no. Hilarious, yes. "Suppose to be" - no. But is it - YES!

Call me a sadist.

Anna Valerious said...

I have never been one of those cat lovers who gets all offended when someone doesn't appreciate cats. I've met a lot of cats in my life time. Scores of 'em. There are a lot of a$$hole cats. Which is why I was so very amused at Rachel Lucas' labeling cats as such (link in last comment). I couldn't disagree! Sherbie is an exception. He is the best that cats have to offer. Which is why I will never get another cat after Sherb and Zoe get old and pass to kitty heaven. I'll never find another cat as great as Sherb. (Zoe is sweet, but she is just a regulation cat.) Well, I'd have to probably meet another three score of 'em to find one that approximates Sherb's coolness. Not up for it. Too many a$$cats to wade through.

So. I love cats, but I can see them objectively and completely "get" why someone else might not like cats. Which is why it is impossible to offend me with cat jokes.

Okay. That being said. This link is for people like me who like cats and are intimately acquainted with their ways of manipulation...and like them anyway. The "Simon's Cat" series can be found at YouTube here:

http://tiny.cc/yUm2N

Anna Valerious said...

Krl,

My daughter deliberately lays out her worn clothing on her bed because she wants to please King Sherblet. Yes, that was her tank top laid down for His Highness to position himself on. He likes that. Why? Who could ever know.

Anna Valerious said...

Hi Barbara,

Good to see you out there! Yeah, I've thought long and hard about cats being narcissists. My conclusion is this: they are definitely narcissistic but they lack the malice that would make them malignant narcissists. Well, can't say that categorically. I've met cats with malice. But it seems to me that most of them aren't motivated by ill will toward us. So, I live comfortably with my adorably sweet though narcissistic kitties. They are obviously equipped with the ability to love me...which is more than I can say for the human malignant narcissists. My cat is definitely morally superior to my Nmom.

Naive No Longer said...

ANY cat would be morally superior to your mom.

St said...

Hello, Anna!
Missed you!
Admired how you 'left' ~ and 'returned' ~

Not sure how this works. Do you see the Comments first? Wanted to introduce myself to you, got confused by the "publish your comment" bar to click on.

St

Anna Valerious said...

St,

Thanks for the welcome back. :o)

Yes, I do see comments before I publish them since I have comments set on moderation. If you want to chat privately then I recommend using my email address which is found on my profile page. castlemania1900@mailcan.com

Kelly said...

LOL love it!

Katherine Gunn said...

Welcome back! We missed you. ;-)

Naive No Longer said...

Thanks for returning the favor. I finally went to the link and read about how cats are assholes and other assorted asshole-ish things (like putting carpeting on bathroom floors). I laughed so hard that the sip of coffee I had just taken almost burst out of my mouth all over the computer. Somehow I managed to keep it in... However, I thought it was going to go up my nose. But not to fear, I was successful at containing it. I must be very talented. One must not waste one droplet of yummy coffee on cats, squirrels, or bathroom carpet, no matter how funny.

Thanks for the laugh! She is hilarious.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha. Your cat sleeps like my dog. He can get comfortably and start sleeping just about anywhere.

KillerAngel47 said...

Sherbie is SSSOOOOO cute!! XD I want to rub his belly! <3

Tenacious1 said...

Sam who is sitting in my lap now, says hello to Sherbie. What a beautiful cat. Thanks for the pictures!

Amy said...

I believe this is what Italians call "dolce far niente". :-)

Animals can be great teachers.