The next anomaly is that of "reversing roles".
This tendency to respond to a solicitous inquiry with "Okay" or "Sure" or the posture of equivalent solicitude typifies a narcissistically protective interaction. The assumed position is, "You're the one with the needs here, not me; but I'm such a good person I'll humor you." Denial of Remorse & GratitudeThese people are so god-like in their own minds that the act of asking a favor, or even accepting an offered favor, is considered to be an act of humiliation, so they twist things around so that your offering a favor is actually them granting you a favor. Doesn't get more upside down than that. Upside down is pretty much the description of life with a narcissist. Black is white. Right is wrong. In is out. This is yet another manifestation of the upside-down dealings of the narcissist in everyday life.
OMG Anna! I just stumbled on this one!!
ReplyDeleteMy ex did that same thing. "Sure" or "its up to you" - total N!
SHEESH!
My mom did that all the time and I have picked up the habit. The problem with living with them and being raised by one is that you do things without knowing how twisted they are.
ReplyDeleteLuckily a friend pointed out how annoying this was to me and I am now trying to kick the habit. I am at the point where I just don't care anymore about anything most of the time. What I will eat whether or not I eat the same to me. Living with my mother so long I am at the point where I really feel a nothingness for myself like I just live for others sometimes. Like I could care less if I were alive or dead.
Any ideas on how to get out of this habit of not caring much about myself?
The TCON,
Garfield