tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post82032403980576422..comments2024-03-16T14:19:24.563-06:00Comments on Narcissists Suck: Article on "Selective Amnesia"Anna Valerioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-48624168672137369452020-02-25T09:45:38.461-07:002020-02-25T09:45:38.461-07:00It is important to realize that God never commands...It is important to realize that God never commands us to have certain feelings toward others. Love is how you treat them. Love is not how you feel about them. <br /><br />One of the clear delineations of love (in the Bible) is to <i>not retaliate</i> against those who use or abuse you. Removing yourself from their sphere is the opposite of retaliation. Christ telling us to turn the other cheek or walk an extra mile, etc. illustrate this non-retaliation principle. <br /><br />God isn't demanding you have warm fuzzy feelings about anyone. He only is asking you to not retaliate, use vengeance, or harm others.Anna Valerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05704872387178776754noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-35494292707020750832020-02-25T00:50:39.766-07:002020-02-25T00:50:39.766-07:00That's why I just cannot get my head around us...That's why I just cannot get my head around us having to love our enemies. This just sucks because it would mean having to love someone who is beyond evil and demonic. Those hypocritical Christian narcissists use this to control us because they are malicious abusers themselves. Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09268582452879778809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-30063435109476847522017-11-20T14:18:58.913-07:002017-11-20T14:18:58.913-07:00Oh Anna,you have summed it up perfectly. I couldn&...Oh Anna,you have summed it up perfectly. I couldn't have said it better myself. These vile, evil beings are nothing but spiteful, malicious and vicious. I hate them to their rotten core. Why were these vicious sociopaths/psychopaths ever born? Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09268582452879778809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-45634657788925436202008-05-22T11:04:00.000-06:002008-05-22T11:04:00.000-06:00katytexasmommy. I haven't been dealing with it lon...katytexasmommy. I haven't been dealing with it longer than you but writing it down can help. Journals, Anonymous blogs, paying a person to listen to you aka psychologist etc. <BR/><BR/>Sometimes I get in a foul mood and confront my mom every now an then. The results aren't good but I am glad I got it out lol. Ever been grounded for the rest of the year just because you pointed out to your mother that she is being a complete hypocrite. <BR/><BR/><BR/>GarfieldAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-82159526470313209952008-05-21T12:06:00.000-06:002008-05-21T12:06:00.000-06:00I read a lot of Luke 17:3's content some time ago ...I read a lot of Luke 17:3's content some time ago (about two years, I think). I hadn't been there for quite awhile until the other day which is why I'm suddenly highlighting them in posts. <BR/><BR/>I had to laugh at your comment about your eyes crossing cuz of the font size changes and colors. I hear ya. There are some color contrasts that totally whack my eyes out. I have to highlight to change the color so it is readable. Or I have copied and pasted into Wordpad to read it there. <BR/><BR/>Their content is very good though.Anna Valerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-87053451990297591062008-05-21T11:49:00.000-06:002008-05-21T11:49:00.000-06:00Oh yes, Luke 17:3 Ministries is a great website. ...Oh yes, Luke 17:3 Ministries is a great website. Sometimes my eyes cross at all of the fonts and colors and italics, but they make very good points. <BR/><BR/>And don't forget the classic, "I've forgotten because I'm old" that we've been battling the last two years. They sure pull that one out only when it suits them. And the rest of the family falls for it. Blech. (Lots of "blechs" today!)<BR/><BR/>RenewedAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-29916159260402199912008-05-20T16:33:00.000-06:002008-05-20T16:33:00.000-06:00You send the most powerful message by refusing to ...You send the most powerful message by refusing to respond to her at all . <BR/><BR/> Your silence screams what a hundred letters never will . <BR/><BR/> She wants .. do you really give a rats ass about what she wants ?<BR/><BR/> She WILL slink away if you refuse to engage .Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-39858444312761946642008-05-20T13:54:00.000-06:002008-05-20T13:54:00.000-06:00Hi Anna,Your blogs always provide a lot of relief,...Hi Anna,<BR/><BR/>Your blogs always provide a lot of relief, apart from being a source of information.<BR/><BR/>Thanks heaps, as always.<BR/><BR/>And, I liked your photograph very much! Very much like the image I had in my mind about you (can't exactly explain how, but believe me, it is!)<BR/><BR/>cheers...Hellboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03121484597526335304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-24593839753824544552008-05-20T12:40:00.000-06:002008-05-20T12:40:00.000-06:00That article is fantastic. For anyone who has doub...That article is fantastic. For anyone who has doubted themselves, there it is, step by step. Now, I ask you, when your abuser does these exact same things in exactly the same order, there is no room for doubt: the problem IS them!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-36632980147670234992008-05-20T08:40:00.000-06:002008-05-20T08:40:00.000-06:00Wow great article. So accurate. Nice to read artic...Wow great article. So accurate. Nice to read articles from others who understand.<BR/>My N-Mom is still, two years into no contact, running an active smear campaign against me where she goes on and on that she doesn't know what she did to me, and I won't tell her what she did to me. It is so much about years of incidents and about who my mom is a nasty, manipulative, mean, abusive person.<BR/>KellyKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18031256003548447236noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-41179821853646693492008-05-20T08:08:00.000-06:002008-05-20T08:08:00.000-06:00This is definitely a website I need to check out. ...This is definitely a website I need to check out. Are you sure you didn't write this essay? ;) I smiled at the "10 pages" part. There's nothing like affirmation, eh? <BR/><BR/>EllaCinder Ellahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04925192227589155516noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-22722536322132999912008-05-20T07:38:00.000-06:002008-05-20T07:38:00.000-06:00My therapist once said to me when I wanted to go b...My therapist once said to me when I wanted to go back in yet once again and explain, explain, explain to my narcissistic sister-in-law why she was an "unsafe" person for me:<BR/><BR/>You can't explain to an unsafe person why they are unsafe and make them see or understand. The very characteristics that make them unsafe in the first place prevent them from seeing it and owning it. If they were safe to begin with and have simply offended you, there would be no need for this endless merry-go-round. You'd be able to discuss it, deal with it and move on.<BR/><BR/>The article hits the nail on the head. It isn't so much their behavior as it is WHO THEY ARE. Wow!Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04146169503042368869noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-45411342561346852042008-05-20T07:05:00.000-06:002008-05-20T07:05:00.000-06:00I related so much to that website!After reading yo...I related so much to that website!<BR/>After reading your blog I went & checked it out, & it is so what I'm dealing with also, with my family of origin. You've written on these issues before, & I've taken your writings to heart throughout these past 2 yrs. Mob mentality,alpha dog & pecking order, rocking the boat,family image,etc,ad nauseum. Though my mind is accepting all of these truths--my soul still struggles with the harshness of the reality. My heart knows it's true. But my soul grieves for the loss of what I wanted to believe our family was. This website was yet another voice putting very clear words to the unchanging NATURE of the beast. Not the contrived actions,not the well-planned false words--but the very NATURE!<BR/>I know that when I have a defect of mine revealed to me, I get on my knees & pray i.e. humbly plead with God to change me, one day at a time. I don't glibly announce it to anyone. I realize the enormity of God's mercy, & my own undeservedness, but for His grace. <BR/>Turning it over to God doesn't excuse bad behaviour from me. I still must do my part, & it's often terribly hard, as I engage in spiritual warfare. That's where the big difference comes in. As outlined on your blog & this website-it's so much easier to turn away & PRETEND there's nothing wrong. That noone's been hurt. That there's no white elephant in the room. It's maddening! The only safe place is far away from it--where the wounds can heal into scars...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-62241564691695818312008-05-19T19:27:00.000-06:002008-05-19T19:27:00.000-06:00Spewing your anger on a blog, even under a pseudon...Spewing your anger on a blog, even under a pseudonym, probably isn't the best way to approach the problem. I recommend a blog when you've gotten well past the initial rage, and well into understanding what has happened to you, and well on your way to containing the problem. You're not in a position to open yourself up to the criticism you will get from a blog. You have to be very well grounded in what you know, and have a very firm grasp on a healthy mindset in order to deal with those who will come along and take swipes at you. Believe me, I get nasty comments with regularity. I've even been screamed at by a self-confessed narcissist for the things I say about narcissists. <BR/><BR/>A private journal would be far wiser than a blog, in my opinion. Don't be afraid of the anger. Channel it to start making changes that will minimize contact with the narcissists. Minimized or no contact will greatly facilitate you being able to dissipate the anger. It is the continual assaults that keep anger fresh and hot. Minimize contact and time with work her healing power.Anna Valerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-44323128217740464862008-05-19T19:04:00.000-06:002008-05-19T19:04:00.000-06:00Just wanted to ask a question to those of you that...Just wanted to ask a question to those of you that have dealt with this N mom/N Dad stuff longer than me- I am filled with rage/hate/etc stuff I am just starting to work out in therapy, I scare myself when I spew words at my mom under my breath, and I feel the intense desire to get all this stuff out<BR/><BR/>do you suggest a anonymous blog to let it all out- do you think it helps or to at least write it all down?<BR/><BR/>trying to find an immediate way to cope with the N mom thing, have clued in like a GONG show GONG about 2 months ago and have been stewing ever since<BR/><BR/>thanks and thanks for this blog<BR/>KKatyTexasMommyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16175973219708332447noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-15385520741611612462008-05-19T16:45:00.000-06:002008-05-19T16:45:00.000-06:00A HUGE AMENReading that was like a much needed ref...A HUGE AMEN<BR/>Reading that was like a much needed refresher course in the F#@+%!-upness of dealing w/ the N-Ex!! Cringing cuz we share a child. Unable to go NC. I think I'll print this blog and carry it w/ me for peace of mind. Luv ya AnnaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-33442950111563684982008-05-19T15:29:00.000-06:002008-05-19T15:29:00.000-06:00oh anna, thank you for posting this! and amen!!!fo...oh anna, thank you for posting this! and amen!!!<BR/><BR/>for years, it has been "what did i do?", "i don't understand what it is that i did?". did we ever tell them? yes, of course. it's amazing how easily they forget. over and over.. and over.<BR/><BR/>ironically, they remember some of the most useless, and tiniest details from the past, though.<BR/><BR/>but ultimately, like your post says, it boils down to who they are. not what they did, for if they were decent human beings, they would never commit such haneous acts of evil. period.<BR/><BR/>i'm so thankful we chose to no longer deal with that insanity!<BR/><BR/>h.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com