tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post9152053720815290456..comments2024-03-16T14:19:24.563-06:00Comments on Narcissists Suck: Evil People Don't See Themselves as EvilAnna Valerioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-30232277764528748892012-08-22T10:17:01.849-06:002012-08-22T10:17:01.849-06:00I am so excited that I found your blog! My N ex p...I am so excited that I found your blog! My N ex put me and my daughter thru pure hell! All the while, having an affair with one of my friends...I guess you could say that my revenge was that after our horrific divorce, they got married! In our deposition, which btw, cost me a whopping $750..I had to get up and leave right in the middle of it, because of his lies...he is an evil man...and when I confronted him and called him a narcissist, all he could reply with is, "you don't even know how to spell NARCISSIST" lol...it's been 6 years since we divorced and he has never paid a dime in child support, so I am refiling for it...we have one daughter who just turned 16...guessing he found out by his employer, that I'm going after CS...so after not having any contact with our daughter for about 7 months, finds out she vacationing with a friend, in his same state...decides to drive about 4 hours to take her to dinner and tells her he will open her a bank account and deposit 250 every two weeks and buy her a car...IF...she can talk her mother into dropping the CS case...now...she is suppose to believe this after he sent a text on xmas day saying her present was on the way..never received...same on her 16th b'day...never received...and the worst part of all...he has a 5 year old daughter with his present wife...some father of the year...huhKathihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11984088538664765548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-36821742850234805242010-01-01T21:31:24.155-07:002010-01-01T21:31:24.155-07:00I'm sorry I don't know of the resources yo...I'm sorry I don't know of the resources you were asking about. That doesn't mean they don't exist...it's just that I haven't looked for them. <br /><br />Thanks for reading the blog. I hope you're able to deal with your daughter in a way that saves your peace and sanity. All the best.<br /><br />AnnaAnna Valerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-76214888692285088272010-01-01T17:00:58.044-07:002010-01-01T17:00:58.044-07:00Dear Anna, My name is Ruby. After reading everythi...Dear Anna, My name is Ruby. After reading everything in your blog, I've come to an unfortunate awareness that my own daughter's evil abuse is diagnosed as NPD! I've gone through twenty years of horror that I could not stand and have gone to a hospitals from it! One of your blog readers mentioned her soon to be ex-son and yesterday I came to realize i'm in the same boat! Would you know of web help for mothers of children with NPD? You have opened my eyes for the first time and I'm blessed to have found your blog!<br /><br />Thanx with blessings to you!artrageoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09581975317433207469noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-40146907486914219982008-12-25T05:46:00.000-07:002008-12-25T05:46:00.000-07:00hi anna i lived with a narcissist step mother and ...hi anna i lived with a narcissist step mother and sisters, and father for years.... anyway, i survived barely but one thing im positive about is that they know right from wrong... and, theyll stab you in the back and run and hide like the cowards they are.... that is proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that they know exactly what their doing... they just dont care... narcissist is just a word made up by man to describe evil, wicked people.... most people are evil so im not suprised that someone came up with a word that totally excuses monsters of their evil behavior... it is not a mental disorder.... just another evil self centered monster.... of course Hitler knew he was wrong thats why the coward overdosed and kille himself.... also, why do they all cry right before they die... like babies... if they dont know their evil what are they so afraid of... and why do they ask for forgiveness.... it seems to me the psychiatrists of the world are wrong again... the BIBLE.. thats honesty... bye anna love your blog...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-35214148966706673112008-05-15T09:23:00.000-06:002008-05-15T09:23:00.000-06:00How many narcissists never shut up? They just talk...<I>How many narcissists never shut up? They just talk for hours about their case and how horrible you are and so on.</I><BR/><BR/>I really don't know if all narcissists do this, but I do suspect narcissist mothers are probably Olympian in their ability to lecture for hours on end. I suspect that if I could get back the hours of my life spent having to sit and take my N mother's lectures I would probably gets many months of my life back. I definitely know what you're talking about. Yeah, no interruptions allowed. Nothing but complete submission to her would suffice. The cruel words and systematic destruction of my soul would not stop until I looked like I had thoroughly surrendered. It is actually a method used by brain-washers to break down the independent will of their victims.Anna Valerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-58723464550676595982008-05-15T08:36:00.000-06:002008-05-15T08:36:00.000-06:00Another great way of putting it into words. Thankf...Another great way of putting it into words. Thankfully I do not have a very good memory much of the time (maybe my extreme self esteem issues) and so the pain only hits when the memories come flooding in. <BR/><BR/>Even as a child when my mother did this I knew something was wrong I finally figured out that it wasn't all true and I would tell her that is not right etc. Just made her talk longer. How many narcissists never shut up? They just talk for hours about their case and how horrible you are and so on. <BR/><BR/><BR/>GarfieldAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-4962654421010889032008-04-21T05:21:00.000-06:002008-04-21T05:21:00.000-06:00In reply to the "anonymous" person who commented a...In reply to the "anonymous" person who commented about the N being able to do something to someone and see it as nothing, while having the tables turned on them is unconscionable. My Nmom and I had an argument a few months ago when I learned she and her "golden child" had received a settlement from one their lawsuits against others (these seem to provide a fairly good extra income for my Nbro, aside from his salary as pastor) and had hidden it from me. I hadn't wanted any of it, but naturally, it upset me. As always, Nmom heard not one word of how I felt but told a string of lies that would reach around the town. She goes on to say that she's going to talk to my pastor and see if he "could do anything with me". When I told her that I had counseled with pastor about our family problems, she went into a tailspin- "Would you actually tell someone else about our family?" How's that for hypocritical? <BR/>My Nbro is master at retelling a situation with such sincerity that sometimes I believe him- till I've had time to sort out the truth. His version of anything ususally completely leaves out anything he may have done and then is told with such martyrdom, that you're left wondering if you're the N! His little wifie works quite effectively behind the scenes getting him to do her bidding (telling him how he's not appreciated, his brillance, he's just sooooooo cute!) while she's counting the money she's getting out of it (he and prissy actually wrote my mother's will behind my back also- funny, how their dishonesty always finds them out)! My mother believes whatever they tell her, even when presented with proof that they've lied. Anna, have you read anything about the work of what is called the "Jezebel" spirit by many in the church? It is remarkably like what is also known as narcissism.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-69960808032676339972008-03-06T20:24:00.000-07:002008-03-06T20:24:00.000-07:00"He conforms for his convenience,not out of a sens..."He conforms for his convenience,not out of a sense of right or wrong."<BR/><BR/>Bottom line: He wants all of the "rights" but none of the responsibilities/consequences. At least a sociopath/psychopath doesn't fear the consequences. Not that it stops them from operating in isolation, but some don't care about that.So, what IS in a heart?https://www.blogger.com/profile/00482423451947167280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-43860482968089505712008-03-02T06:54:00.000-07:002008-03-02T06:54:00.000-07:00Great post Anna !I have seen a narcissist doing so...Great post Anna !<BR/>I have seen a narcissist doing something bad to someone and then dismissing it as nothing. The next day, the exact same thing is done to him, and he goes crazy about it.<BR/>You could waste your time trying to show them the irony of this, but they would never get it.<BR/>When you see this, it really brings home how they think, they have no empathy and are only concerned about the effect of anything on them.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-62052690483883787652008-02-29T19:39:00.000-07:002008-02-29T19:39:00.000-07:00For some reason the image I got from this great po...For some reason the image I got from this great post was of a vampire - who looks in the mirror and sees -<BR/>NOTHINGAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-83310887541320759012008-02-29T18:48:00.000-07:002008-02-29T18:48:00.000-07:00Thank you all for what you have written.....just a...Thank you all for what you have written.....just about everything 'fits' my own experience(s) with Ns. During my spells of depression and rage over the years...(not knowing if I was crazy or too judgemental etc)...I often prayed "If only I had a WITNESS.." It seems I DO....! All of you articulate what I never could. Much of my feeling and thinking was in a clump....a big knot of a blob in my heart and in my brain....the words escaped me if ever I tried to talk about what 'didn't feel right'. How does one talk about the innuendos, the unspokens, 'perceived slights'. Now it doesn't sound crazy or judgemental. It sounds REAL....because it WAS...and all of you bear witness to this horrendous EVIL in our midst....all of you were affected one way or another the same as I was. The only thing that makes any sense to me is that ONLY this kind of EVIL could have left the particular scars I have in my life. Full spectrum. Emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual. It makes 'sense' now. Each day....little by little...I pray for continued healing and right thinking. I have hope now.<BR/><BR/>Thank you all. Carry on in the light you have.<BR/><BR/>krlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-20523018039158276062008-02-28T19:00:00.000-07:002008-02-28T19:00:00.000-07:00Hey, Jacqueline, thanks very much. My hearty cong...Hey, Jacqueline, thanks very much. My hearty congratulations on finding freedom from the narcissist soon-to-be ex. It makes my day when I hear people say they are shaking free of the narcissist in their life.Anna Valerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-53665266034706785782008-02-28T18:55:00.000-07:002008-02-28T18:55:00.000-07:00What's confusing me is, if a Narcissist does not s...<I>What's confusing me is, if a Narcissist does not see himself as evil then why would he/she hide his wrongdoings?</I><BR/><BR/>He hides his wrong doing because he recognizes there exists norms and laws outside himself and outside his control. Don't mistake his awareness of his wrong doing for a conscience. He is not admitting that <I>he</I> thinks his behavior is evil or wrong because he attempts to hide it. He is only admitting that <I>you</I> think it is wrong. "You" as in whomever it is the narcissist can't control reality for. He hides to avoid the law. If he could, he would abolish the law so he could do openly tomorrow what he has to hide today. He hides to avoid censure or punishment. That's all. He doesn't agree with all of us that he is wrong. If he had the power he would kill the law and then kill whomever would presume to question his behaviors. The spirit of the murderer lurks in the anarchist's heart. <BR/><BR/>Anyway, you get confused because you presume he hides because he admits to himself the rightness of the law and therefore the wrongness of what he does. Not the case. He simply is avoiding accountability to those laws of society, of morality, of decency that he can't get rid of. As soon as a MN can control his environment to his satisfaction there is no bar to whatever whim he may have. "Do what thou will shall be the whole of the law."--the credo of Aleister Crowley, premier hedonist and occultist, is the core belief of malignant narcissists. They hide what they do to avoid the discomfort and inconvenience of getting caught. That t'aint conscience. He believes his highest good could be attained if he wasn't hamstrung by laws and societal expectations. He conforms for his convenience,not out of a sense of right or wrong.Anna Valerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-27103144878824929362008-02-28T18:02:00.000-07:002008-02-28T18:02:00.000-07:00Anna, Thank God for your insight and courage!! For...Anna, Thank God for your insight and courage!! For the longest time I could not put a name to this behavior. Every post seems like you have walked in my shoes!! My, (pardon me, but I do not wish to claim the narcissist in my life as mine!) the n in my life is my soon-to-be ex. What a nightmare!! But thanks to you, I have found strength, courage and sanity through your posts. Finally there are answers that make sense!! You have divided the word of God with wisdom!! Many Thanks!!jacquelinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06889418946102340775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-73137916593068945632008-02-28T16:54:00.000-07:002008-02-28T16:54:00.000-07:00Anna,I admit to being a bit confused by this post;...Anna,<BR/><BR/>I admit to being a bit confused by this post; on one hand evil people do not see themselves as evil but on the other, a Malignant Narcissist knows what he does to his victim is wrong so goes to great lengths to hide it. He usually attacks his victims when there are no witnesses (or witnesses present are under his power too) and creates a false image that is in total contrast to his actual self.<BR/>What's confusing me is, if a Narcissist does not see himself as evil then why would he/she hide his wrongdoings?<BR/><BR/>Could you please clarify, Anna. Thanks heaps as always.Hellboyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03121484597526335304noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-77009901379965163982008-02-28T13:29:00.000-07:002008-02-28T13:29:00.000-07:00I've found an excellent book on the psychology of ...I've found an excellent book on the psychology of self-justification:<BR/><BR/>Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Lies - Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson<BR/><BR/>A little bit of self-justification is good, so we don't torture ourselves over ordinary mistakes. Too much of it brings us into the realm of self-deception and evil as described here.<BR/><BR/>To anonymous poster at 8:07 am--shame and exposure are not likely to work, as the N will turn it around and make herself out to be the victim of your unreasonable accusations. They are quite compelling actors, because they believe in their own distortions.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-35391721318847140082008-02-28T12:34:00.000-07:002008-02-28T12:34:00.000-07:00Anna, right on again. I've been around N's who ar...Anna, right on again. I've been around N's who are confounded when you don't agree with them on mere opinions (like the "best" color). Of course the "best" color can change if the N decides they now like, say, red instead of blue, the former best color. The N may deny or dismiss that she ever liked blue at all. Now anyone who likes blue is wrong, doesn't understand beauty, etc. Now, if you had previously said you liked red better than blue, that would be forgotten because the N couldn't admit that you chose red before she declared it the best. ;) I can't tell you how many things the N's decided were their righteous ideas even though I had come up with the ideas and the N's had scoffed at them. When it was proven I was right, that was forgotten and the N's claimed everyhing for themselves. Ugh, this is the craziness living with N's can bring!<BR/><BR/>Another favorite in regards to morality - the N will do something considered to be morally, perhaps even legally wrong, for instance lying to get state benefits or faking an injury to get a settlement. This they don't see as wrong. Certain people have bragged to me about such behavior. But if your spouse makes more money than you or buys you a really nice gift, the N may see you as taking advantage of the spouse and think you are doing something wrong. To the N mind as long as it's them doing it, even fraud is not immoral. But someone accepting a gift from a spouse is wrong. And they really believe it. <BR/><BR/>I'd also like to add that the motto of Satanists is Hail Me! (Satan=the self) They worship their own egos and seek only their own indulgence. Sound familiar?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-41179118330059614412008-02-28T12:14:00.000-07:002008-02-28T12:14:00.000-07:00Sorry, I just thought of something I wanted to men...Sorry, I just thought of something I wanted to mention about evil people, particularly as it relates to evil "christian" people. This week I had my first article accepted to a Christian publication. I've been published before but not with my byline. Like a dope, I sent out an e-mail to my friends and family. Of my all of my religious family, only one uncle responded with congratulations. All of the rest, including my two brothers, another uncle, cousins have not even acknowledged my e-mail. Why? Because they are jealous and resentful of my success. I wrote it and submitted it without help, advice or assistance from the family. <BR/><BR/>My one uncle and his family--he was a nationally recognized preacher and author in the 70's and 80's--but no longer. His books became so repetitious that people tired of him and also, they promoted a doctrine which many people finally came to realize simply didn't work. But because of his stature, he and his children (my aunt died several years ago and was she a Major N!) have a very condescending attitude toward everyone outside the family, and toward those inside the family that don't treat them "special" enough. If you aren't a sycophant--if you challenge them about anything they deem to be gospel--then you are "out". I can't say I'm surprised that they didn't respond, though. They are all "famous" wannabes who never have done anything notable. Sad but true--envy is often what makes them evil.Writer in Washingtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12862858479312461659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-75290963669267228582008-02-28T11:59:00.000-07:002008-02-28T11:59:00.000-07:00In a way, those of us who are bucking the "Christi...In a way, those of us who are bucking the "Christian" system are non-conformists. I know that I have been accused of being everything from a rebel to emotionally ill, to insane, to being bitter, and on it goes. That's because evil people and their stooges don't want to be confronted with the truth. And the truth is that most "Christians" don't know anything biblically, just what they've been told. But to be fair, its taken me years to break away from the old regime, too. I didn't want to lose my family and friends, but I've since come to realize that they really aren't worth keeping anyway. They were never truly loving or accepting people.Writer in Washingtonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12862858479312461659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-29873884997577537672008-02-28T09:31:00.000-07:002008-02-28T09:31:00.000-07:00There's nothing wrong with being non-conformist so...There's nothing wrong with being non-conformist so long as you avoid doing it for the sake of doing it, use common sense(like don't claim to be a KKK member in Harlem or wear your cat ears outside of work/school), and recognize that come non conformist don't think for themselves anymore than the "conformists" do. Also, you have both fight some of the consequences while accepting others. These are things that Ns are generally incapable of doing. <BR/><BR/><BR/>"Her response: I'll go to prison for you, if it comes to that.<BR/><BR/>*snort* Yea, right. When called on it, you can bet that she'll claim that she never said it or bail. Or, she'd LOVE to go a minimum security place where things are easier than a more, er, secure prison, and even then, it'd be a few months or something. <BR/><BR/>Weak people don't see themselves as weak.So, what IS in a heart?https://www.blogger.com/profile/00482423451947167280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-50982254732997814452008-02-28T08:07:00.000-07:002008-02-28T08:07:00.000-07:00Dear Anna, You hit it right on the nail! What is ...Dear Anna, You hit it right on the nail! What is the best way to protect oneself? Is shame and exposure, without unlawful means, effective?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-78176798931820062332008-02-28T06:46:00.000-07:002008-02-28T06:46:00.000-07:00A particularly insightful article, Anna. Not long...A particularly insightful article, Anna. <BR/>Not long ago my Nmom decided not to forward a notice regarding my taxes, even though it was obviously an important piece of mail. Eight months later, I discovered it and was distraught. Her response: I'll go to prison for you, if it comes to that. Of course, going to prison was never the issue, the exhorbitant fine was the issue. She didn't mention paying that. This may seem to have no connection to anarchy, but it does somehow. As I grew up, she consistently uged me (and one brother) to be a non-conformists. I think she relished watching us suffer the consequences. 30 years later, the scales fall from my eyes and I see that she is a complete slave to conformity herself, UNLESS-- as you say -- she can defy rules with impunity. Although, it's kind of puzzling that she wouldn't have been bothered by "what will people think?". . . I guess there was some pay-off to that too -- as in "Poor brave Prunehilda. Such a devoted mother with such difficult kids."<BR/>Sorry, I'm going in circles. That always happens when I start thinking about it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-84525469558231211982008-02-28T05:32:00.000-07:002008-02-28T05:32:00.000-07:00Hi AnnaThere is much of what you said that hits ho...Hi Anna<BR/>There is much of what you said that hits home, for me. I can recall my older Nsister always claiming "we" should question authority (but she is the world's foremost authority in her own mind.)And this also rings true with my Nmon who in her own mind is a paragon of kindness and compassion----until you defy her wishes.Yeeeouch.<BR/>Thanks for this blog.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-12568040021313618122008-02-27T18:15:00.000-07:002008-02-27T18:15:00.000-07:00"Unfortunately, anarchy can never last forever and..."Unfortunately, anarchy can never last forever and is always followed by tyranny."<BR/><BR/>Yea. Thanks for reminding me. That's something I figured out YEARS ago. Just stinks, doesn't it? Heh.So, what IS in a heart?https://www.blogger.com/profile/00482423451947167280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-57074676568374046152008-02-27T12:13:00.000-07:002008-02-27T12:13:00.000-07:00To be honest with you, I'd choose anarchy over tyr...<I>To be honest with you, I'd choose anarchy over tyranny.</I><BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, anarchy can never last forever and is <I>always</I> followed by tyranny.Anna Valerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.com