tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post2401230078444411957..comments2024-03-16T14:19:24.563-06:00Comments on Narcissists Suck: Red Flag: Vandalizes Others' ImagesAnna Valerioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.comBlogger145125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-5740522650060189252015-05-16T12:04:51.198-06:002015-05-16T12:04:51.198-06:00Uff, I really am relieved to hear that. :-)Uff, I really am relieved to hear that. :-)Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02827357802388386341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-45533819464908027732015-05-15T16:15:37.571-06:002015-05-15T16:15:37.571-06:00I have never, and will never, point my parents or ...I have never, and will never, point my parents or sister to this blog. This isn't for them. It is for people like me who have to deal with people like them.Anna Valerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-27934803414972263392015-05-15T15:25:32.150-06:002015-05-15T15:25:32.150-06:00In my experience the trouble is that Ns slander yo...In my experience the trouble is that Ns slander you so subtly and secretly that it takes you ages to find out about it.<br />I learned of a big lie my mother had told a mutual acquaintance only when I was almost thirty. From then on I discovered similar things, too, but only few. Most people took her side, believed her every word. They hardly would report her smearing campaigns to me, it would destroy their love of gossip...<br /><br />I sincerely hope you never sent the link to this blog to either your mother or sister, or informed them about it in any other way. In my experience, these people use all they can get for their own advantage - all you can do is keep away so they won't get any more ammunition.<br /><br />You can't "win" over Ns. You can only win your own desire to convince them or take revenge. As for them, they were defeated already long, long ago by their own childish desires. Just leave them to their petty, unhappy little lives! They're punished enough with having to be the way they are.Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02827357802388386341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-70763709401758248642010-12-25T23:31:42.930-07:002010-12-25T23:31:42.930-07:00Thank you for bringing up this old Kathy post beca...Thank you for bringing up this old Kathy post because it's SO TRUE. Every Socio/Narc/Psychopath that i've run into ( 2 in my life ) NEVER has anything nice to say when i bring up praiseworthy information about myself. Even in the beginning! There's sarcasm, there's acting as if you didn't say anything at all... but never genuine acknowledgement. It's Me me me me me me me me me or nothing.Johttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07749721563004508310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-25212988573680824752009-03-13T21:35:00.000-06:002009-03-13T21:35:00.000-06:00first I want to ask you if the desire to have your...<I>first I want to ask you if the desire to have your mother read this indicates you still need to prove yourself to her?</I><BR/><BR/>Hell. No. I have <B>NO</B> desire to prove myself to her. What I'd love to see is that look of shame and horror at her finding out her full exposure to my eyes. She has worked all my life to hide who she really is. I know that one of the worst things she could experience is to see how utterly exposed to me that she now is. THAT is the reason I'd be quite pleased should she read what I've written here. <BR/><BR/>That being said, I don't spend any kind of time wishing for that outcome. But if it happened I'd be more than cool with that. Prove myself? I can't even imagine feeling the need to prove myself to her ever again. No, if anything, <B>I'd want her to see that she's proven herself to me</B>. She's weighed in the balances and has been found wanting. To quote the book of Daniel...God's words to Belteshazzar.<BR/><BR/><I>Do victims of narcissists tend to get into relationships with other Narcissists?</I><BR/><BR/>Yes, they do tend to get into relationships with narcissists. I have talked about this some place on my blog. This is especially true of people raised by narcissists. We are trained to put up with mountains of crap and think it is normal. Our bullshit meters are severely malfunctioning. Especially when we're younger. We ignore red flags because those behaviors feel familiar, like an old sweater. We are comfortable with what we know. If raised in the perverted system of a N, then it is very likely you may find yourself attracted to a narcissist because we tend to be attracted to what feels familiar. Even if familiar is painful.Anna Valerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-51233650180054821562009-03-12T22:04:00.000-06:002009-03-12T22:04:00.000-06:00Anna,first I want to ask you if the desire to have...Anna,<BR/>first I want to ask you if the desire to have your mother read this indicates you still need to prove yourself to her? I find this the hardest part of my seperation from my n-mother. I endured the beating and verbal abuse you describe and this weird competition. I am now a grandmother. She doesn't acknowledge these children as her own ggrandchildren as well, but instead she competes with trying to prove HER grandchildren, my siblings' children are better than MY grandchildren and she completely ignores my children as well. Meanwhile, she has convinced her coven (my siblings, and other family) that I am breaking her heart. I so badly want to prove her wrong, make them see what she has done to me, make her see what she has done to me. But I've finally realized that there is no point in this and that it only feeds her N further. So I avoid all contact with her and only answer her calls when I feel strong enough to deal with her. I just listen, give her very little information, and completely refrain from reacting to her. My sister did once call me and ask me to stop this, because she had become Mom's new victim. While reading your blog, I started experiencing the physical reactins I had to my mother as a chld, nervousness, stomach upset, headache, etc. Then I suddenly realized that as I was feeling this I was thinking about my ex-husband and realized he is actually a worse N than my mother. Do victims of narcissists tend to get into relationships with other Narcissists?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-53129332256500735682009-02-20T12:43:00.000-07:002009-02-20T12:43:00.000-07:00This is Kathy's Blog. Her final post has info on h...This is Kathy's Blog. Her final post has info on how to protect your computer from scum:<BR/><BR/>http://narc-attack.blogspot.com/So, what IS in a heart?https://www.blogger.com/profile/00482423451947167280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-73629562890230395752009-02-20T12:28:00.000-07:002009-02-20T12:28:00.000-07:00Katrina-I know what you mean, and I think the "Chr...Katrina-<BR/>I know what you mean, and I think the "Christians should never hate anyone" thing is just a crock. It leads to more people being trapped in guilt and shame because they believe that hate is the Devil or something. Do you hate the crazy religious fanatics who flew airplanes into the World Trade center and the Pentagon? (yeah I sure do)<BR/><BR/> You can call it hate, or loathe, or whatever, and that IS NOT A SIN. Acting on hate might be, but your feelings of loathing towards people who were purely awful and abusive to you, who have no remorse, and if you got near them would do it again and again and again, is normal. Normal, and life-saving and probably the reason you have achieved what most of those raised in the rat warren of MN families NEVER do - to call MN what it is, and to break free. I have gotten pretty far down the NC thing with my FOO and am at indifference most of the time. Except the MN-ex, because he is still stalking and harassing my DH, DS, and DD any way he can, and will until DD is 18. If you are not personality-disordered, hate or loathing is telling you something - GET OUT or if you are out, get with people who understand (that would be us :) My Christian therapist in all the years I saw here, never once told me I could not hate those who had systematically abused me for decades. She also told me that most people raised in MN families either become MNs or MN-enablers, so Congratulations! You are amongst the 10% or so of people who courageously work to free themselves. <BR/><BR/>That is also why moving far away makes this much easier. Anna had a great post on how far away you had to get to make this work best. I occasionally attempt to get DH to consider Australia, but so far no luck. 1200 miles has been good, except for crazy MN-ex - who FOLLOWED me, can you believe it?Aravishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05543510185027980376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-51507511658213372162009-02-20T11:43:00.000-07:002009-02-20T11:43:00.000-07:00"Anonymous from Italy"You'll first need your compu..."Anonymous from Italy"<BR/><BR/>You'll first need your computer to be professionally cleaned or take out all important data and get a new computer. <BR/><BR/>Beyond that, you'll need to hacker proof it as much as possible. Use FireFox as a browser as they have additions that can improve security(KeyScambler is a good one for fooling keyloggers), use strong, hard to guess passwords, do the same with questions and password hints, use the best scanners.<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AlvDvRKJn4pik9gwOsi6T3EjzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20080911205227AAO5hx6" REL="nofollow">This might have some help too</A>.<BR/><BR/>If you used a technician before, ask him, and ask the cybercrimes division at the Police Department.<BR/><BR/>I'm sure others here can help too.So, what IS in a heart?https://www.blogger.com/profile/00482423451947167280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-83036266882224772992009-02-20T11:16:00.000-07:002009-02-20T11:16:00.000-07:00"Yep, her behavior is very much like a toddler, it..."Yep, her behavior is very much like a toddler, it would almost be funny except for the fact that she's a grown woman in her 40s." <BR/><BR/>Reminds me of NM. Last "mother's" day we took her out to eat. She would not pick a place or type of food, just "I don't care, where-ever" but every sugestion was the wrong one, no don't want this, don't want that. Til we had covered every food/type of resturant imaginable! I finaly said - well we are going here. She huffed and puffed the whole night! My niece is three and she's not that bad at the dinner table! It's so pitiful.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-71507194003605634942009-02-20T10:02:00.000-07:002009-02-20T10:02:00.000-07:00Anna, I`m just wondering if it is typical of a ns ...Anna, I`m just wondering if it is typical of a ns to purposly take what you, just had said to them the wrong way(and get offensive).It usually(not always) was not about them but something else.I use to think that it was me but now I`m starting to wonder if it`s the ns because it`s happened to many times.I`ve had to clarify to them what I was saying.These were people that I had years of relationships with.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-48741789541590440152009-02-20T09:38:00.000-07:002009-02-20T09:38:00.000-07:00Aravis," NC is really the only solution for e...Aravis,<BR/><BR/><BR/>" NC is really the only solution for escaping FOO MN groups. That setting is akin to the violent street gangs who never let go of members."<BR/><BR/>Wow, is that ever true!!<BR/><BR/>That's what I still suffer from.<BR/>They just won't quit. And in MY case, there are SO MANY of them.<BR/>All in a feeding frenzy--feeding each other any little tidbit they can glean on me & mine. I find myself saying, " I f---ing hate them" several times a day, as things come up in our lives. And as a Christian, I HATE to say that to myself. But the truth is, I don't HATE them so much as I LOATHE them. I loathe their sick & sinful behaviour, as it pertains to ME & MINE. I loathe that they have, in some cases successfully,<BR/>managed to turn that all around, to make it out that I AM the one with the sick & sinful behaviour, to many many people. Irrevocable. <BR/>Unfortunately, having found myself in a position of trust & care for our aging parents-they have managed AS A UNITED MOB--to influence a lot of people to BELIEVE their BS. SOMEDAY, our parents will be gone, & we'll be free of this MOB. I just have to sustain until that time is here. And trust that God has us all in HIS loving & faithful hands.<BR/><BR/>KatrinaAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-12595364269074667342009-02-20T07:28:00.000-07:002009-02-20T07:28:00.000-07:00GraFXGrl,Yes, her behavior is much like a toddler'...GraFXGrl,<BR/><BR/>Yes, her behavior is much like a toddler's. We were at my parent's house for Thanksgiving. I was making an apple pie, and she was making a pumpkin. I had premixed cinnamon, cloves, and ginger in a ziplock for her pie because my parents didn't have any cloves or ginger at their place. I had also made a mix of sugar and cinnamon for my pie, and had labeled hers so I wouldn't mix them up. <BR/><BR/>N-Sister is starting to make her pie and I mentioned that I brought the pie spice for her and it was on the counter. When she found out there were cloves in the mix, she got hysterical. "I hate cloves, I hate cloves! I hate the way they smell, you did this on purpose!" She opened the bag and stuck her nose in it, and told me how gross it smelled. First of all, I never knew about her aversion to cloves, and second when I asked her what recipe she used for her pie, she told me that she used the recipe on the can label (which had cloves). <BR/><BR/>As disgusting as it smelled, she used it anyway and popped her pie in the oven. As she was putting her dishes in the sink, she saw another ziplock bag on the counter. "What's this?" she said. I picked up the bag, turned it over, and there was the label that said "Pumpkin Pie Spice". I said, "That was the pumpkin pie spice I mixed for you." She said, "Well then, what did I just use?" I smiled and said, "THAT was the cinnamon and sugar mixture I had leftover from the pie I made, the one where you could smell the phantom cloves." <BR/><BR/>And that's what happens when you try to do something nice. She finds fault with whatever you do, accuses you of something ridiculous, and when it turns out that she has been proven dead wrong, she doesn't acknowledge the fact nor does she apologize. Yep, her behavior is very much like a toddler, it would almost be funny except for the fact that she's a grown woman in her 40s.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-32422988526922195352009-02-20T06:43:00.000-07:002009-02-20T06:43:00.000-07:00Anna,please,could you give me apiece of advice? I ...Anna,<BR/><BR/>please,could you give me apiece of advice? I need your help. Really.<BR/>First of all, I apologize for any grammr mistake as English is not my mother tongue. I am writing from Italy. I thank you so much for your blog, it is so exhaustive and clear and complete.<BR/><BR/>In this very moment, I am so angry and scared. Anna please, let me know what else I can do.<BR/>I had this 11 month story with this man. To make a long story short, after 4|5 months he started showing his true colours. A lot of grief......a lot, Anna. Last August, after his last humiliation-in his opinion I did not clean the dishes enough well- I left his home without a word. I had a suspect already in my mind and I had my pc checked He worked as an informatic counselor for many big firms and banks here in Italy. Well, I found out that he had put two different kinds of spy software in my pc, he knew everything and controlle everything: emails, bank, phone calls, everything....everything, my past, my diary, everything.<BR/>I confronted him on this issue and on many others. He laughed in my face and told he just did not know "what sort of websites" did I visit to get these spyware ( but the technical has told me these programs MUST be installed an are not spywares) and that I was not worth of pronouncing the name of his daughters ( who he was spying too......now I am recollecting a lot of details).<BR/>So i reported him to the police and you know, time of justice here in Itly are quite long.......so I went on with my life, God only knows how much strength I needed but I just made it. But now we are again! From the last 1st of February I am no more able to log in my email account. After a long procedurewith my solicitor I discovered that he had changed all my data on the account, he put his date of birth in place of mine-what a stupid- and the name of his new girlfriend in my name's place. He also blocked all my accounts connceted to my email, including Facebook, and from my profile on FB he is having a lot of fun using my account. He is ruining my friendships and reputation. Now I am atmy third police report, added to the one of the email provider whose server was forced by him. But what puzzles me is.....WHY. I had gone completely No contact with him! He has another girlfriend.....wat does he want from me? And what should I do now? Who gives me back my reputation? I read the title of your post and I had to write to you. Please help if you can......<BR/><BR/>Anonymous from ItalyAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-61420912163112678002009-02-19T17:50:00.000-07:002009-02-19T17:50:00.000-07:00Anna Kathy Krajco's wonderful site is gone! I went...Anna <BR/><BR/>Kathy Krajco's wonderful site is gone! I went there to get all the red flags of N to give to a friend who needs them. <BR/>(She's interviewing potential employees for a position that she sacked an N from. In 6 months the N almost destroyed the small business and all involved are still extremely stressed and sick from the experience. Don't want her to make the same mistake again - hiring an N) <BR/>Do you know if anyone has saved the content from Kathy's blog (especially the red flags) and if there is access to her blog content?<BR/>I am still upset by Kathy's death, now with her blog gone, it makes the death seem even more real and sad.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-74318262011092648392009-02-19T16:40:00.000-07:002009-02-19T16:40:00.000-07:00"I am no longer her supply, I am more like a broke..."I am no longer her supply, I am more like a broken lamp that she has no more use for."<BR/><BR/>Love the analogy! I just LOVE the idea that I'm a broken lamp to the Ns who are no longer in my life. Being a broken lamp to them allows me to light up the lives of the people in my life who treat me with love and respect. <BR/>MarieAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-77499535730370760532009-02-19T14:29:00.000-07:002009-02-19T14:29:00.000-07:00"She began to cry (that's what she does when all e..."She began to cry (that's what she does when all else fails) and accused me of trying to ruin her holiday." <BR/><BR/>Kind of like watching a toddler have a temper tantrum isn't it? I wish they knew how completley foolish they look to the rest of the world. Ns tantrums are almost laughable at times. You just want to laugh at them and say "are you serious?" I think I'm being punk'd!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-70223083333409160182009-02-19T13:01:00.000-07:002009-02-19T13:01:00.000-07:00This topic just jogged a memory of my ex N friend,...This topic just jogged a memory of my ex N friend, who would on occasion attend AA meetings and talk about the various other people he knew there.<BR/><BR/>He would describe blackouts and name individuals, "You know the guy that owns the restaurant." It's supposed to be anonymous I would tell him, and he would reply that it's not that big of a deal....<BR/><BR/>Sometimes I think he would only go to stock up on gossip. Creep.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-32111837036750534602009-02-19T11:14:00.000-07:002009-02-19T11:14:00.000-07:00So What's In a Heart - THANK YOU so much - that is...So What's In a Heart - THANK YOU so much - that is a great site too.Aravishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05543510185027980376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-86541674435460535042009-02-19T11:10:00.000-07:002009-02-19T11:10:00.000-07:00My N-Sister would bully, scream, threaten, manipul...My N-Sister would bully, scream, threaten, manipulate, lie, and was prone to physical violence. Even after I distanced myself from her, she would find ways of verbally attacking me when we saw each other on holidays.<BR/><BR/>I was treated like her personal maid:<BR/>"Go get me another cup of coffee",<BR/>"Hurry up and wash the dishes, I want you to drive me to the store",<BR/>"I'm hungry, when are you going to make lunch?"<BR/><BR/>If I didn't immediately drop what I was doing to fulfill her request, she would start screaming at me and accuse me of deliberately ignoring her demands just to be mean. Usually this was when I was doing laundry or changing a diaper or feeding my toddler. If my mother intervened, my N-Sister would justify her bad behavior by tearfully making up a tall tale about how "They're (my husband and I) always yelling at me." Of course, it wasn't even remotely true, we barely spoke to her. But making us look like the bad guys, helped deflect her hissy fit.<BR/><BR/>The last holiday she began to pull one of her crazy stunts, I didn't react. I ignored her, I said nothing to her, I didn't as much as glance at her, all the while keeping a robotic blank look on my face. And it worked like a charm! She began to cry (that's what she does when all else fails) and accused me of trying to ruin her holiday. Now I see that not reacting to her dramatics, trying to explain myself, not attempting to be nice and get along with her works. I am no longer her supply, I am more like a broken lamp that she has no more use for.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-66555228651360962622009-02-19T10:55:00.000-07:002009-02-19T10:55:00.000-07:00"I'd love to hear tips and advice from any of you ..."I'd love to hear tips and advice from any of you who are / have been in the stalker ex situation where you cannot go NC."<BR/><BR/>As low of contact as possible. A place called thepsychoexwife.com has tips there, but here's another link that can help:<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://abuserecovery.synthasite.com/tips-and-traps.php" REL="nofollow">This place is an enormous help too</A>.So, what IS in a heart?https://www.blogger.com/profile/00482423451947167280noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-54217938383856437792009-02-19T09:58:00.000-07:002009-02-19T09:58:00.000-07:00Excellent advice...K and Anna,Yeah, I'm not the le...Excellent advice...K and Anna,<BR/><BR/>Yeah, I'm not the least bit afraid with confronting would-be predators, bullies and such.<BR/><BR/>I'll be damned if I will let another human being try to terrify me into submission. Ain't gonna happen. <BR/><BR/>When you are self confident, self possessed, healthily assertive these kinds of folks usually realize you're a fighter and will desist trying to manipulate and terrify you. <BR/><BR/>Trust me, I know. I have seen it in action many times over the last few years. I may be furious at their evil behavior, but I maintain my control, no tears of rage or yelling, utilizing my logic and rationale and the parasites strive to get in last parting nasty comments (doesn't phase me a bit) then they split.<BR/><BR/>I have proven I am no easy target and you wonderful men and women can do it to! Just takes practice and oodles of confidence and a staunch belief in what you think is right, just, and fair. <BR/><BR/>You're winners, proven by your loving and gentle spirits, but you are also warriors so don't forget it!<BR/><BR/>You all have proven by your writing that you are immensely strong, immensely wise and good so standing up to evil, after you are healed (sometimes even while you are healing, which is awesome) will eventually be your saving grace and solid proof of your own personal power in the world. <BR/><BR/>Defy, denounce, and disabuse the most vile, the most evil of people from thinking you're a vulnerable, fragile target!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-85780703100900046072009-02-19T09:32:00.000-07:002009-02-19T09:32:00.000-07:00Anna said: "Most times the smart thing to do is to...Anna said: "Most times the smart thing to do is to just sever all ties and completely abandon the narcissist. Exposing them is most times not an option because you need overwhelming proof to make a success of that. If you have that kind of proof then more power to ya."<BR/><BR/>Very true ! NC is really the only solution for escaping FOO MN groups. That setting is akin to the violent street gangs who never let go of members. Exposure can be effective in in more formalized settings, such as the workplace. I have terminated a few employees who were MNs - based on their behavior (you just cannot write "this employee is a petty and vindictive psychotic freak " in a termination action, sadly). The checking out of romantic interests through previous partners can be very effective. But even in the case of "friendship" - well, like many Nfamilies, they look okay enough to the outside world that being unavailable is best. The Gift of Fear is a great book. Anyone know if there is an updated version planned? I think it is about 20 years old, and there are now new and improved ways of stalking, such as in cyberspace. It especially sucks when you have minor children with a sociopathic ex. I have a MN-ex spouse who will continue to stalk and harass my DH and kids until DD turns 18 (3 more years, ackkkkkk). I'd love to hear tips and advice from any of you who are / have been in the stalker ex situation where you cannot go NC. DH and I have spent close to 70K in the past 13 years trying to protect DD from crazy-ex, who thinks the Family Court system was put there for his sole use to address any grievance, real or imagined. Where I live, you do not usually get the same judge so they have not figured out that MN-ex is sociopath. Plus anyone can dress in a suit and sound reasonable for 45 minutes on the stand. Esp. MNs who can lie without batting an eye.Aravishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05543510185027980376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-52665957405969266032009-02-19T09:26:00.000-07:002009-02-19T09:26:00.000-07:00I've been in kind of a 'holding pattern' for a bit...I've been in kind of a 'holding pattern' for a bit....trying to hear what is being said....making applications in my own life....and sorting out what I think are 'thoughts and observations' since going NC...(a bit over a year now).<BR/><BR/>One of the most obvious for me is the minimization of DRAMA in my life. That horrible neverending soap opera type drama that seemed to surround my Nmom. Most all of it based on hearsay (HERsay....that is!) and embellished and dramatized by none other than EmptyMom who has no life of her own. She could weave and interweave a 'drama' out of nothing...and do it so quickly I thought I must not have heard her the first time. And worse yet...I was 'addicted' to this bullshit! It doesn't matter if that was 'always the way it was so what else could I do'.....I went back for more...time and time again.... Dammitall.<BR/><BR/>So....now that I KNOW what is going on....dumped what was going on....rejected the lies....I can't believe how utterly 'simple' and 'straight forward' life and relationship CAN be. How on earth...(rather...How in HELL...) could this woman make even a complex situation COMPLICATED!? I'm finding that human beings ARE complex....but it is the lying, cheating, bullying, dishonest, lazy, etc that make it COMPLICATED! It seems that a 'complex situation' can be sorted out by facts and the truth. To even entertain resolving a 'complicated' one is moronic because I think there is dishonesty and fabrication involved.<BR/><BR/>For a while (after going NC)...I thought "What now?" It had been like leaning against the wind and the falling over when it quit blowing. I thought maybe I has over reacted to the situation. Certain aspects of my life (uh...MOST of them) were pretty 'quiet' and 'still'....and it kind of scared me?! Hmmmm.<BR/><BR/>Well....you got it. NOW, I CRAVE the 'quiet' and the 'still'....Never had that before. Never had my own time...my own energy....my own choice. Out of the loop. I LOVE it. Yeah....the Rat quit Racing...and is no longer gnawing. Thank God.<BR/><BR/>Bless all of you....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-53616967233473372292009-02-19T08:29:00.000-07:002009-02-19T08:29:00.000-07:00I think there is no one solution to the exposure t...<I>I think there is no one solution to the exposure thing...It all depends on the situation, but sometimes we have to stand up against evil, although we don't know the outcome and feel afraid.</I><BR/><BR/>I agree. There is rarely ever only one solution to a problem. I also don't over-emphasize fear on this blog. I emphasize being <I>smart</I>. <B>Most</B> times the smart thing to do is to just sever all ties and completely abandon the narcissist. Exposing them is most times not an option because you need overwhelming proof to make a success of that. If you have that kind of proof then more power to ya. Excellent. It is better for everyone when a narcissist gets their mask ripped off. My point is that having a few emails in ones hand doesn't constitute overwhelming proof. <BR/><BR/>By overwhelming proof I mean the kind of proof that is indisputable by rational human beings. The irrational I don't give a damn about. I wouldn't advise someone to wait until they had the kind of proof that would convince even the stupid and irrational. There is no such kind of proof. <BR/><BR/>Congrats on your successful exposure of the narcissist.Anna Valerioushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.com