tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post1653592764976352581..comments2024-03-16T14:19:24.563-06:00Comments on Narcissists Suck: Humility or Humiliation?Anna Valerioushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02537877317873251678noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-48923355193280093542017-10-06T01:16:37.315-06:002017-10-06T01:16:37.315-06:00Brilliant article. Totally values targets of these...Brilliant article. Totally values targets of these vampired. Insight plus!!!Marthahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14160144519883158445noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-19290835482771950852008-03-25T10:10:00.000-06:002008-03-25T10:10:00.000-06:00I love the subtitle of this Blog: No life is ever ...I love the subtitle of this Blog: <BR/><BR/>No life is ever a complete failure; it can always serve as a bad example.<BR/><BR/>I live this creedo when evaluating the contributions of my NPD father to my life. <BR/><BR/>I love the comparison of Humilty versus Humiliation. Very insightful. It is true that my NPD father, ever the egoist and chock full of self-important blather, never sees the the humiliation he brings on himself. He simply does not leave that channel open. We all know... but him.<BR/><BR/>I have a saying I use to help me understand when I'm full of BS and in need of a reality check: nobody is ever fooled. <BR/><BR/>So stop pretending. A healthy adult will understand this immediately, a NPD will never understand this.<BR/><BR/>As always, great stuff. Wish I had found this site sooner.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-59455724631556860282007-11-28T17:24:00.000-07:002007-11-28T17:24:00.000-07:00My therapist said almost this same thing to me the...My therapist said almost this same thing to me the other day: <EM>How can you humiliate a truly humble man? Even if you strip him of his reputation, his livelihood, his clothing...he has his integrity. He knows who he really is; he can not be shamed. He can still walk with his shoulders squared and look you steadily in the eye. Humility doesn't mean beaten down. It means taking a proper assessment of oneself and recognizing your limitations. It is being real with yourself and the world. A humble man has dignity.</EM><BR/><BR/>Beautifully said Anna!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-63854009295895485522007-11-28T06:14:00.000-07:002007-11-28T06:14:00.000-07:00I too am constantly amazed at this. I have been re...I too am constantly amazed at this. I have been reminded about this time when NM baked a cake which burnt. rather than admit the cake was burnt, ie she had made an error she BLAMED HER OWN 3yr old Granddaughter. She actually projected onto a vulnerable child. She haughtily informed me that GC had "fiddled" with the stove behind NMs back and turned up the heat. I expressed surprise that GC hadnt got burned, touching the buttons around a hot stove (remember she was only 3 at the time) Turns out that she fiddled with the over prior to NMs baking episode. So the truth was that NM had made a cake, put it in the oven, switched it on WITHOUT CHECKING THE SETTINGS - but rather than just laugh it off as an error on her part she had to project the blame elsewhere. disgusting. If she had come clean and admitted her mistake I would have had so much more respect for her.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-42122007954323808272007-11-27T19:59:00.000-07:002007-11-27T19:59:00.000-07:00"The thing that boggles my mind is that she contin..."The thing that boggles my mind is that she continues to "flourish" like some god-awful weed. Nothing seems to bring her down."<BR/><BR/>Gottes Mühlen mahlen langsam, mahlen aber trefflich klein<BR/>Ob aus Langmut er sich säumet, bringt mit Schärf' er alles ein.<BR/>--Friedrich von Logau<BR/><BR/>Translated by Longfellow as: <BR/>The Mills of God grind slowly, yet they grind exceeding small; <BR/>Though with patience He stands waiting, with exactness grinds He all.<BR/><BR/>Perhaps we should add:<BR/><BR/>We with narcissists in family, or as colleagues, also know - <BR/>Though the mills of God grind finely, yet they grind exceeding slow.<BR/><BR/>[my <A HREF- HTTP://WWW.KITH.ORG/JOURNALS/JED/2002/05/21/452.HTML HREF="" REL="nofollow">source</A> for the von Logau couplet]Stormchildhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05039949137714076734noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-30431296461056941972007-11-27T14:04:00.000-07:002007-11-27T14:04:00.000-07:00I think that the supreme haughty arrogant pride is...I think that the supreme haughty arrogant pride is the thing that most makes me most want to vomit when I think of my mother. The outrageous audacity of her actions makes me shudder. The complete and total unbending and unyeilding to anything other than her version of reality is sick.<BR/><BR/>In my naivetee (ha! - no longer...been-there-done-that) I used to think I could somehow, some way receive some morsel of compassion/humility/empathy from this human being. Ahh, but it is never to be. Not even a morsel of acknowledgement of any wrong-doing on her part that needed to be recognized - EVER. It is always twisted into something else. And then somehow masterfully woven into a tapestry of how SHE is the bigger person for forgiving YOU for "falsely accusing" her.<BR/><BR/>The thing that boggles my mind is that she continues to "flourish" like some god-awful weed. Nothing seems to bring her down.Cathyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04146169503042368869noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32237145.post-81760685157835073832007-11-27T13:29:00.000-07:002007-11-27T13:29:00.000-07:00Thank you for this excellent post, Anna....I have ...Thank you for this excellent post, Anna....<BR/><BR/>I have been consistently amazed (and confused) by my Nmom's inability to accept what she is NOT. There is no shame in realizing and admitting the limitations of being a human being. In order for her to consistently NOT feel shame when she is exposed, she has a ready 'reason' (excuse) for why she is like she is....and why it is impossible for her to change. Yet....get this....she INSISTS that I maintain 'good character'..'be not weary in well-doing'..etc. Somehow or another she is EXEMPT from what applies to all other people. There is no shame in living a REAL life....'real', meaning to know who we are and who we are not....that we have limitations, make mistakes, and that we can make amends, pick up where we left off, trusting that God and our fellow man will see the intent of our Hearts. She will not accept either the 'humbling' nor the 'humiliation' that comes from admission or exposure. Slippery....confounding...characterless.....unbelievable to say the least. Uh...reprehensible.<BR/><BR/>Carry on, Anna! Good stuff.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com